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I'm hoping someone can help answer the one question I have...
I was adopted at birth in Oregon in 1983 and recently requested a copy of my original birth certificate, which shows the name of my birth mother. My question is: if I find her, is it legal to make contact? (ie. Facebook, email, postal mail)
Thank you for your help!
SJ
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I guess I should add that it was a closed adoption, but I know laws have changed. I just cannot find anywhere that outlines what you can and cannot do once you've received the original birth certificate. Do the birth parents have to consent to being contacted? I guess I'm nervous about going about the process wrong...
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sm, Oregon changed the laws officially in 2000. Birth parents had 12 months to file a contact preference form - I believe in total there were around 5,000 who filed and of the 5,000 around 88 requested no contact from the adoptee, the other two choices were either direct contact or through a confidential intermediary - the majority if I remember correctly were direct. In the first 10 years that adoptees were allowed to access something like 10,000 applied. Your era of mothers while they may not have told others about you (some did) they did not face the same reality of our mothers (50's and 60's) where their actions would have shamed the entire family and they couldn't hold their heads up (or felt like it) - it was a completely different time. You have every right to contact your mother - it is best to do it in a manner that is somewhat vague where only she would connect the dots if she lives with other people. Read some of the threads on here but say you are reaching out and were born X date in X place and did that sound familiar. Studies have shown that well over 90% of mothers want contact. You can use a confidential intermediary if you want - I have mixed feelings on that because if she did keep you a secret then someone else might throw her off / scare her. I do believe that the state of Oregon offers that or perhaps your agency - but keep in mind you can't control the process or what they say, nor do you know if they have prejudices against reunion which could lower the success rate. I do believe direct contact from the adoptee is better but that is just my opinion. There is a current group on this forum doing exactly what you are thinking of - the thread title is something like Illinois Original Birth Certificates and is 3 or 4 pages long - read that and ask them for help on the right way or how to word. If I can find the thread I will come back and post a link. Take care,Dickons
[URL="http://forums.adoption.com/making-contact-communicating/397113-original-illinois-birth-certificate.html"]http://forums.adoption.com/making-contact-communicating/397113-original-illinois-birth-certificate.html[/URL] Just ask them for advice on what worked for them making contact - most have either just done it or are doing it... D
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sm, If a contact preference form was filed I would assume (and will see if I can back it up) that any request would have been included with your original birth certificate - otherwise why split the want contact into two categories. I do know they would have been required to search the contact preference requests for a match once you requested the birth certificate - or they had already attached it when received - not sure how the process would have worked but will check later and if I am incorrect I will come back and let you know. Kind regards,Dickons
Dickons
sm, If a contact preference form was filed I would assume (and will see if I can back it up) that any request would have been included with your original birth certificate - otherwise why split the want contact into two categories. I do know they would have been required to search the contact preference requests for a match once you requested the birth certificate - or they had already attached it when received - not sure how the process would have worked but will check later and if I am incorrect I will come back and let you know. Kind regards,Dickons