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Hard to know how to articulate myself!
Have any adoptees that have experienced an amazing upbringing with their adoptive parents, still had pangs of resentment or envy toward their half siblings who have been raised by one or two of their biological parents?
This isn't asking whether you were happy with your adoptive family, or cant stand your biological parents, or the other way around. I am just wondering if those kind of feelings sneak in sometimes?
Susie
:confused:
In short "Yes". I guess my biggest problem lies with the fact that my Father was a G.I., my mother later married another guy and emigrated to the US where she and my two sisters became US Citizens, I on the other hand remained in the UK and have no claim to Citizenship in the US. End result is that I with the American blood and roots am stuck here and all the rest of my family are in the United States to which I have only restricted access and am unable to retire there despite being self sufficient and no burden on the state.
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Definitely. I think the biggest shock was finding out I had a full brother and less than 2 years separated us. My bmom and bad also had other children, but years after. Those I expected to find.
No matter what a great childhood I had, there are times I really hate not being raised with my siblings.
Sometimes, yes, and I'm not sure it would have anything to do with whether orr not an adoptee had a fab childhood, or was abused daily. I think it's just part of the grief process. Good or bad, our siblings, have what we can never have. Hope you understand what I mean by that. I don't believe it really has much to do with what kind of childhood we have, or our parents.
Thanks for feedback people. just wondering why my bdaughter giving my raised daughter such a hard time at the moment when they were getting on so well. Of course I could be wrong, but since they have been sharing same house bdaughter has been exposed to alot more 'family stuff' that she perhaps feels she is not quite part of. Over the years I tried to include her then she did a definite pull back so I respected her wishes by pulling back but not pulling away! I can imagine it must be hard...but we cant have our cake and eat it too. My raised daughter is feeling miserable around this, she is 12 yrs younger, and I am trying to make sense of it for the both of them.
Susie
Definitely. I actually got what could be seen as a "better" life from being adopted, but, being adopted, I was the younger of two children with a thirteen year age difference, so I basically was an only child. Less than two years after I was born, my birthmother had a child with a man who wasn't my birthfather. I've since reunited, and met both my birth half sister, and her father, and formed strong relationships with both, but I will always be jealous that she was the one who was kept and I wasn't. And both my birthmother and I struggle with the fact that my sister and I were not raised together.
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Yes, I feel like a second class citizen. Left out and ignored mainly. I don't like feeling this way but every time I think about them I can imagine how they managed to be kept when I was left.
It makes me sick to my core if I dwell on it. What did I do? I feel like I am ostracized and feared or looked at like I am some kind of atrocity.
To be perfectly honest...I love them or the idea of them because they don't really let me close enough to be part of their family.
Some PM'd me a while ago regarding this thread. I am sorry not to have replied but I got logged out, and so couldnt remember ANY of my login details including the email address I used! It was a long time ago. Any way if the person that PM'd me does again I will endevour to answer...I feel mean that I havent been able to!! Maybe it was Julie??????? Must be early onset dementia.Lol!
I think my bdaughter is a bit confused about how she is feeling. One minute she really seems to want to be part of the family, but the next minute she is pushing away. My raised daughter and bdaughter are still living together, managing ups and downs, conflict and laughter so I guess I can say they learning to be sisters!
We love how she is including her two year old son in our lives as much as she can ( I live 4 hours away), but do you notice I have a reluctance to call him my grandson as that could be seen as crossing boundaries. Oh its so complex!! Any way just thought I would let you know how things are rolling!! :fish:
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