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Hi, I am an adult adoptee, and also a birth mother. I gave birth to a baby boy 7/3/98. I receive pictures and a letter from the adoptive family once a year (though they're not quite as regular as time goes on, and I haven't been adamant about keeping right on schedule).
My question is: I'm now 32 years old, and was just diagnosed as bipolar through a series of events that actually had me hospitalized for mental health issues. I'm a successful executive with a master's degree, 6figure income, 2 kids and a husband (just to show that I'm not completely hopeless). So, my question is, should I reach out to the agency/adoptive parents to let them know of this diagnosis? Looking back at my life, I have been exhibiting symptoms for well over a decade, and there are many things in my life that would likely have changed had I had a diagnosis sooner. With bipolar disorder being highly correlated to genetics, I'd want the family to know, so they could watch out for signs, especially as he enters early adulthood.
Is there some kind of etiquitte for this kind of thing?
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Sarah - sorry I did not see your original post. I would recommend reaching out to the parents. I would not bother updating the agency because it is more than likely they would simply put it in the file to provide IF the parents asked - unless you know specifically that it would be forwarded, or that is your ownly way to reach the parents. Kind regards,Dickons
I fear that PTSD is often misdiagnosed as Bi-Polar :( I have yet to meet a mother who lost a child to adoption, or an adoptee, that has anything other than PTSD. Sadly, there aren't many psychologists or therapists that are educated in the adverse effects of adoption trauma.
Personally, I would seek out a counsellor specifically trained in adoption issues before you tell the aparents. It would be so damaging for an adoptee to be stigmatized with that when he will most likely be exhibiting PTSD symptoms (esp during puberty) that will then be blamed on his 'genetics'.
My son was misdiagnosed with a disorder and it was terribly cruel on him. Needless to say, he's doing so much better now that his adoption trauma (PTSD) is being treated. He is still very angry with his aparents and previous psychologists for the mental torture the misdiagnoses caused.
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