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I am a writer. An old and dear friend of mine has asked me to tell his story of being adopted and the later search for his biological parents. His biological mother refuses to have anything to do with him, not even to talk over the phone. His adoptive parents have long passed, but he did get to meet his biological father before his father died. My friend cannot understand why his mother won't communicate with him and feels she has a right to do so. In order for me to gain an understanding of my friend's frustration and feeling of rejection, I need to hear what others have to say. Thank you for your time and patience. If you wish to reply via my personal email it is jaytharding@yahoo.com
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You are assuming she is a mature rational person. Obviously there are lot of reasons but my close older friend gave two kids up for adoption. They showed up and she basically blew them off. The only reason I know this is because her other "best" friend told me when she was mad at her to show what a terrible person she is now.
My friend is basically selfish, often mean and immature, she was then and still is now. She is just plain afraid. She never had other kids. says she didn't want them etc. However, I know a lot of it is a fake front to hide the hurt. I know this because I have an adopted daughter and I've seen her with her. I think she helps with her etc. because she is trying in some way to make up for it.
Anyway I pretend I don't know but one day after she is gone I will show her bio-kids pictures of her being granny with my daughter and tell them this. I know on the surface people would say to tell them now but sometimes my friend is like a mad dog, she would bite the hand that feeds her. I can't let her find out I know or that I know she regrets it because it just hurts her too much and she would turn on me.. On day she talked about getting counseling for something that happened a long time ago but wouldn't tell me.
The bottom line the bio kids probably were better off without her, not because she is that horrible like drugs or something but the whole bio family is a just plain mess, nephews with drugs, fiancial problems etc. Hopefully her kids turned out better away from them. However, I do know she loved the babies, even if she would never admit it.
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