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I never had a good relationship with my adopted mother, but my dad was fantastic. A few years ago I met my birth mother and eventually the rest of my amazing family. We are all very close and couldn't have hoped for anything better. I never told my adopted parents because my adopted mother has developed a mental illness over the years and is incapable of thinking rationally. She phoned me a few months ago and confronted me about knowing them I don't know how she found or if she was just playing devils advocate. When I told her she started yelling at me and refuses to speak to me. As with my adopted father whom I have always had a great relationship with. I am really unsure of what to do to fix this situation, or even if it would be worth doing so. Has anyone had a similar experience ? I am also really angry she would try and make me feel so guilty for satisfying natural curiosity.
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Hi Reblgrl, Your [adoptive] mother called you up accusing you of meeting your family and then got angry and yelled at you and won't speak to you since? It's been a couple of months? Have you called her? I am unsure if your [adoptive] father did the same to you or your [adoptive] mother did the same to him. Will he talk to you? Everyone says to tell the [adoptive] parents but sometimes it is better not to - each case is unique. I would assume you knew how at least your mother would react and in the end she did. I think you need to decide if a) you can live without your mother in your life, and b) how that will make you feel in 5, 10, 20 years. If you think you will feel bad then you need to give a good try at re-establishing the relationship. I have always had a much stronger relationship with my dad as well because of personality matching. Now dad is gone it is far more obvious the differences between my mother and myself. Kind regards,Dickons
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Rebgirl - ((((HUGS)))) I am so sorry your adoptive Mother reacted that way. Granted, she does have a mental illness and that can play into it but it still hurts.I agree with Dickons about Dad. Have you spoken with him? Is there a way to talk with him with AMom is not around?My daughter (age 4.5 yo) is already asking if she can meet birth Mom. If bMom was in a good situation, I would agree to it but she isn't. So, I tell my daughter I will help her find bMom when she is 18.