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I am posting this for a friend of a friend. She is hoping for any suggestions from people that have BTDT and have seen progress.
Child in question just turned 3. He has an older sister (4) and a twin brother. Was with bio mom for a year, where he was neglected, abused physically, starved and was the outcast of the family (yes, even as a baby!). He's been living with my friend's friend since a year old. She is 'mommy' to him and I don't think he remembers what it was like to be with his bio mom. Contact with bio mom is VERY short periods of time and infrequent. It is also always supervised by his mom.
Behaviors: pooping in pants (mom feels on purpose), not listening, tantrums, crying, being sneaky, taking food out of trash to eat, stealing food from others and taking food in the kitchen without asking, acting as if nothing bothers him (such as consequences), isn't affectionate, etc.
I have observed the child and he does appear to be more anxious than other kids his age or even his siblings. He seems obsessed with food, and showed no remorse for his wrongdoings that I witnessed. He does seem to be more cocky about his bad choices too, like he seems to do it to hurt his mom or in revenge.
I gave her several book recommendations as well as recommended therapy. I recommended an evaluation with an attachment therapist to start (in case he really does have RAD or other attachment stuff). I also told her a few interventions that I know worked with kids I had before or that I worked with before (I am a Master's level counselor so I have some experience with kids with attachment issues). But, most of the kids I worked with were older, so I wanted to get good ideas specific to his age. He just turned 3 this month. Anyone have ideas for me to pass on to her? I appreciate it!
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