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Does anyone else have family who is in denial when it comes to your child's special needs?
I am so frustrated with people who don't understand SPD, trauma, and whatever else is going on with my child. It is getting to the point where I don't even want to go to family functions any more. We seem to be an annoyance as it is and then for siblings (who have never adopted or had a special needs child) tell me this is normal behavior. :hissy:
Of course, they have never seen the Queen beating me up and/or having meltdowns that last for days. They have no clue how hard we have worked to look like we are "normal" and yet we still have more work to do. They have no clue what affect they have on my child and how she reacts after a family gathering. :grr: :grr: :grr:
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Parenting - my extended family doesn't "get it" either. In fact, I've never really tried explaining SPD to them for the most part. I just tell them that he doesn't like crowds and noise really bothers him. But we do have an ally. My mom totally gets DJ. When we go to family gatherings, she sets up a back bedroom as his "quiet zone" so he can get away from everyone when he needs to. My family might think it's a little weird, but they don't question it. I don't know if we can get everyone to understand our kids, but it's great if you can find one or two. Is there anyone in your family who could be your ally to help you at the family gatherings. (Or at least to vent to after them? :) )
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My family was actually pretty understanding (but most of them live either next door or very close so they got first hand exposure) with the one exception of my brother. He's a great guy, but really had no clue. Well, leave it to my kid-- he peed all over my parents floor, right in front of Uncle Chad. He was a little more understanding after that, lol! We work so hard to make them "normal" in public, but sometimes I think it does those close to us some good to get a little glimpse...
Oak - I am so glad your Mom understands and has created that escape room for your little guy. saranbr - That is great you have so much family around. Always good for Uncle Chad to get a glimpse of things.minibus - Exactly! A 2 minute tantrum & a 2 hour tantrum are not the same thing.I do vent to my Mom but she has early dementia. So, she has enough challenges. For the last 3 weeks my daughter has been out of sorts again. We had calmed down tremendously but for whatever reason we are in that mode where it is difficult right now. After a long difficult weekend (just the 2 of us) I kept thinking, "I wish my family could see this so they would understand." Sigh! Thanks for the support & letting me vent.
Ever think of video taping a "meltdown" sometime and then the next time someone says "oh, all kids do that", send it to them? Specifically the ones who cause you the most headache? Sometimes they need to see it to shut up. err...believe it.;)I have several family members who don't get "it" about my youngest. I avoid their advice at all cost and after a slip on my part (temper), one doesn't ask anymore. lol.Luckily I have a lot of other family members who do get it or at least if they don't, they don't seem to care and they respect his "quirks".
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parenting-over-40
Crick - Great idea! Thank you! How do you get it all on video since she moves around a lot?