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Today was supposed to be our kids' first visit with their birthmom post-adoption (the last time they saw her was June 2011). She requested the visit a month and a half late but we accommodated her. She confirmed twice by email (including yesterday) that she was coming. She sent an email from her cellphone about 15 minutes before we were supposed to meet that she was on her way. We waited 30 minutes for her at the location we had agreed to and provided directions to and she didn't show up! Thank goodness the kids are too young to understand this year (they are 2 and 3).
That is soooo very frustrating. Has she made any attempt to contact you to apologize or make up an excuse? Are you legally bound to continue contact? Unless there was some horrible accident or emergency (and some sort of proof of one...such as hospital bill etc) then I would call off continued contact. Better to end things now rather than have the children older and being continually hurt over and over again (speaking from experience).
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momof6maybemore
That is soooo very frustrating. Has she made any attempt to contact you to apologize or make up an excuse? Are you legally bound to continue contact? Unless there was some horrible accident or emergency (and some sort of proof of one...such as hospital bill etc) then I would call off continued contact. Better to end things now rather than have the children older and being continually hurt over and over again (speaking from experience).
I agree. Only support relationships that will be of benefit to the kids. If bio mom doesn't have a verifiable legitimate excuse, change the relationship so that contact doesn't depend on her (e.g. videos, letters, skype with her on before the kids know she is on).
I plan to do an open adoption but only with those people the girls already have a strong relationship with and with those people who will continue to be a positive influence in their lives.
After adoption, these kiddos have a new nuclear family. Treat bios as extended family. What would you do with a flaky aunt?