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i'm a 20 something young woman adoptee. i was placed up for adoption because both of my parents were unable to take care of any children. at the time, they were both addicted to drugs and alcohol.
i grew up in a very toxic and complicated home environment. my adopted mother is mental ill and struggles with jealousy/controlling issues.
at a young age, i knew i was adopted and didn't reach out to my bio-family because of fear of hurting my adopted mother. as an adult, the anxiety is still there, but not as intense. there's nothing wrong in wanting to know things about yourself.
a few years ago, i met my bio brother and father. i keep in touch with them and it has helped me a lot understanding myself. my bio father is now cleaned and no longer abusing drugs or alcohol. my bio mom, whom i haven't met yet, is cleaned, too.
my bio brother called me tonight and told me my bio mother is in town and she wants to meet up for lunch.
i do think it may be a good idea for me to reach out and see her... however, this is a big deal for me. i still have some anxiety because i know how my adoptive mother will react, but the bigger issue for me is what do you say...? especially with such a complicated past.. i spoke to her on the phone a few times, but it's quite different .. being in the same room and making eye contact is making me feel super nervous.
i guess i'm looking for some understanding, advice and support. i'll be forever thankful for any of it. thank you all and just know you are never alone <3
:wings:
Are you meeting with her by yourself? If you feel scared take a close friend with the understanding that on a signal the friend will excuse themselves to make a call and have to leave. That way you have someone to help you recall things if it doesn't go well.
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