Catholic and Gay

I'm not Catholic, but my daughter's biological family is and one of her sister's was having a baptism for her child. It was a huge all day baptism at a Hispanic church in the city. Probably 40-50 kids on one day. Everybody had different people standing with them, so from my perspective it did not matter to the church who was there taking part in the ceremony.

First of all, CONGRATS on your new son!! I was raised Catholic, my husband converted and our daughter was baptized in the Catholic churc. We have since left the church and joined the Methodist church because we felt like our beliefs were more in line with that of the Methodist church than the Catholic church. Leaving the Church was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make, but it was for the best. One of the vows that you will take during the baptism is that you will raise your child in the Church. If you are going into it already knowing that it will not be possible for your family to fully engage in the Church I would think long and hard before making the decision to make that vow. If you have a priest or deacon that you trust, you might consider sitting down and having a heart to heart with and see what they recommend that you do. As far as the godparents go - when our daughter was baptized the only rule that we got was that both had to be participating members of the Church - so if both sisters are active members, I dont see a problem with that. One other thing to consider is this - it is so important to worship together - and I can tell that your faith is important to you - have you considered looking for a church where all of you would feel comfortable and could grow spiritually as a family? I would never want to lead anyone away from the church, but, for your child, it may be better to be in a more accepting church home where there. Be still and pray and listen to what God wants you to do - it may surprise you. Just my humble opinions. :) Again - congrats on your new baby!!

I would look online for a gay-friendly church in your area - they do exist. I'm sorry some of the world still sucks to the point you have to ask out loud for no hateful responses. Congrats to you and your partner on your new baby :)

Dear Wannabeapapi: Congratulations on your new family. My partner and I (straight couple 9 years/not married) have a gorgeous 18th month old daughter. We are both Catholic. She will be baptized in January. I have a family priest that has agreed to baptize her. We are taking a baptism class at a local church - the priest asked that we attend. Don't know if this helps. RNINLA ---------- Me 44 yo My love 33 yo Our princess 18 months Infertility issues... Donor Eggs/IVF 2009-2011 March 2011 - Our miracle arrives August 2012 - no more babies for me - health issues August 2012 - Onto adoption

Congratulations!! I have found that a lot of stuff relating to baptisms really depends on the pastor at each church. We have a friend who is the pastor at a great Church that has many gay congregants...I am sure he would baptize your baby! My own local pastor...oy, don't get me started! I also think the rules regarding "godparents" are super-dependent on the individual parish. Best to you!

Wow, thanks everyone for the great advise. Definitely something to think about.

There is a worldwide organization called Dignity that offers religious services and other activities for gay and lesbian Catholics. You can see the Dignity USA website to get more information. I am straight and Jewish, but I have had gay Catholic friends. Dignity has helped them find a way to be both gay and Catholic -- to attend services with people who won't shun them, to celebrate holidays in the presence of their partners, to receive emotional support when the world seems hostile to gays and Catholics, to reconcile with Catholic family members who have had difficulty accepting their orientation, and so on. I am quite sure that there are gay and lesbian members of Dignity who have become parents by birth or adoption, and have made arrangements to have their children baptized. Many gays and lesbians, though unhappy with the Church position on homosexuality, find beauty and meaning in their faith, and I assume that they would want to transmit their faith to their children. Contact Dignity and see if there's a group in your area, and see if the organization can recommend a way to complete the baptism of your child. My sense is that, especially in large cities, there are ordained Catholic priests who work with the gay and lesbian community and who would be happy to baptise your child. Your child may or may not turn out to be gay, but in either case, he CAN grow up to be Catholic and proud of it. Sharon P.S. Godparents, in the Catholic tradition, are expected to participate in the religious upbringing of a child. I should think that your sister and your partner's sister would be excellent in this capacity, especially since all children, and especially the children of single parents and same sex couples, need role models of both genders.

I'm a gay (non-participating, for the same reasons as you) Catholic and I'm a godmother to three boys. I know that the Church has spoken out every time a parish has made a splash by denying services or sacraments to the children of gay parents. There are dioceses where they will deny Communion, for example, to a gay person who is in an active relationship, but they will not deny the sacraments to your children.I think you should be able to have the Baptism, you'll just need to sit down and talk with a priest about it to ensure that it will work the way you want it to.Also, I definitely second what sak9645 said about checking into the resources from Dignity. They're a good organization to go to for help on this sort of thing.Felicidades on your sweet baby!

This. A baptism can be done in any church or even by an individual (if life is in danger and person wants to be baptized). When people convert to the Catholic faith, they aren't baptized a second time. The baptism from their methodist or luthern church is fine. Other sacraments, you DO have to be a practicing Catholic to receive (Communion, Reconcilliation, Confirmation..etc). So, having your child baptized and raising a child "Catholic" are two different things. If you disagree with the church teachings, live a lifestyle that the church doesn't approve of, and don't go to Mass, I don't understand why you would want to raise your child Catholic. Being gay is not a "sin" in the Catholic faith. But living with someone outside of marriage IS a sin. If you disagree with the church teaching, you're in good company. But, it is what it is. It's not a democracy and Catholics don't 'vote' on what to believe. If you don't want to be part of it, no one will force you to. But if you CHOOSE to be part of it, you are choosing to follow the teachings of the faith and passing those on to your child. My youngest brother is gay. It's a heavy cross to carry. Just because something is socially acceptable doesn't mean the church will find it spiritually acceptable. And as Catholics, you have to abide by what your faith teaches. So, before you commit to raising your child as a Catholic, ask yourself if you want to follow the laws of the church. You are his first teacher. He will do as you do-not do as you say. If you baptize him Catholic with no intention of raising him to BE Catholic and follow the faith, you will have to answer for that. ETA: And since this original post is more than 6 months old, I'm sure the question has already been resolved.

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