Finding my Bio-Family is stressful. Anyone else?

I can't say that I've had this experience, but I do know first hand that reunion is truly the proverbial roller coaster. For the most part I was excited, scared, worried, happy, elated (sometimes all at the same time) during the search and early reunion process, but I can't say that I ever felt stressed out enough to delay responding or writing. You said that you found them on FB. If I may ask, did you go searching for them and then make contact or was it just kind of a fluke thing? I'm curious, because I would expect that usually someone who does the searching and initiates reunion welcomes contact, at least at first. Has contact always made you feel this way, or did it start at some point following first contact? Just curious. Best, PADJ

I understand! I found my birthmother about a year ago and I haven't met her, or any of the family. I've only corresponded by email. It is very stressful for me at times. I don't have any interest in meeting her right now and I don't know if I ever will. I think every adoptee is different. You are not alone, I feel the same way. I think you just need to be clear with them what you are comfortable with at this point. I did that, and although I know she wants more, she respects where I am.

I think taking the risk in the beginning for me could be equated to jumping out of a Boeing 747 at full speed. I was petrified but the need to know outweighed the fear of jumping. I can relate. I was afraid I would watch my birth mother crumble in front of me or that she would run screaming. Or that she would be some "flake" that I would regret ever meeting. I was scared to death. I was curious about finding my father but the emotion in the beginning about that was nothing compared to finding my mother. Funny how it turned out my father was the one I feel more comfortable talking to about all kinds of things and who is the one who felt it was necessary to respond when a relative let them know I had found him.

I made contact via FB a week ago, and I totally regret it. I never wanted a reunion, just health info. I made that clear. It's obvious that they want a relationship, and I do't at all. I feel sick when I see the BM's picture. I don't want to know her.