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Our social worker indicated that we need to come up with some one to be the legal guardian for the adopted child. It is mandatory. Our problem is that my husband and I are only children. We are not very close with cousins/relatives enough to ask. We could ask my parents but they are older. We have asked close friends but they have refused. They have their own families and do not want the burden. Any advice? Hopefully this will not deny us the ability to adopt, but I'm thinking it might.
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Are you part of a church or anything? Do you have any close coworkers that you could ask about what they did?
I know you hate for this to hold you up, but think about what your child would go through if you and your spouse both died. Someone who doesn't know your child would be making this decision. It's a tough one to make. Good luck.
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I think you should go ahead and ask your parents. The odds of this ever being needed are tiny (assuming you're both reasonably young and in good health). The only way this will ever come into play is if there is a tragic accident. It's certainly a big responsibility, and one has to be willing to take it on before saying yes, but it's a very remote possibility at the same time.Also, you may find that once your child is placed and goes from being this strange idea to a real person who they know and love and have play dates with, your friends may be more open to the idea. I know that in our family, my wife's parents were very "no adopted black baby is ever going to be a 'real' grandchild of mine" right up until the day that we put those beautiful children in their arms. And now they clamor to see them as often as possible, buy organic whole milk when they know we're coming over, and keep apple sauce in the fridge in case the babies are hungry when we stop by. Changes of heart are much more easily wrought when the children are smiling up at someone, you know? Best of luck and best wishes.
I am 38, so my mom is older; originally I didn't want to name her as guardian because of that. She was, by the way, extremely pissed off about that. Once I realized how bonded my son is with her, I realized that he will need that if something every happens to me. If your parents are willing, name them. This also isn't something that is cast in stone; if, after the baby comes home, you decide on a different guardian who agrees, you can change it in your will.
Thanks everyone for the suggestions! It is very helpful to get advice from so many people.
We just joined our church and don't know many people there. Co-workers, well we don't know them well enough to ask. I can't help but feeling let down by the friends who refused but I understand thier position.
I think I am going to go with having my parents as guardians for now. Hopefully the agency will accept that.