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I was reunited with my daughter and I am sad to say that things have gotten ugly. She is not the same person I met. She hid her lifestyle from me. I am heartbroken and distraught over what has been revealed to me. She is a mother of three and hangs around low-lifes, also a gang member and thinks it is honorable. She has serious issues that I am ashamed to speak of. Her children(my grandchildren) are also troubled. My family wants nothing to do with her and advises me to keep away from her. I am so distraught over all this. I don't know what to do..
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:( I have been reunited with my 2 daughters for the past 24 yrs. I can so relate to what your going through. It was a bad placement through an agency. I was contacted by the agency when my daughters were only 14 and 16 because they were having difficulties. I had gone to the agency the year before to leave my updated info with them for when my oldest daughter turned 18 in case she chose to try and find me and since it was it was in another state and I was there for a holiday. Anyway, it's been a very hard 24 yrs. They are both raging alcoholics and one has been in and out of jail more times than I have fingers and toes. I've tried to maintain contact but sometimes it's too much for me. My family doesn't go to jail, drink around their children and do many of the things my daughters do. I ate the guilt for most of these years but have stopped. I am not the reason they are the way they are. I have done all I can to help them choose a different life...offered to pay for college, had them live with me etc. All disasterous. 10 yrs ago today, my youngest flew to me...I bought the ticket... and left her 2 1/2 yr old daughter with me to care for because she was going to go to jail and no one else was willing to take this child. She's been with me ever since. I had no other children so it's been raising a child for the first time at 60. I can now see both sides of the adoption triad. With all the behaviors from my daughters and the verbal abuse etc I've put up with over the past 24 yrs many times I have said I wished I had been one of those bm who just didn't respond when contacted. My life would have been so much easier. But I couldn't have really done that and I wouldn't have my 12 yr. old now who I adore and am so grateful for. We are celebrating, her and I, today and giving thanks for having each other.
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I can understand and these are the kinds of things that happen with other people raise your children. My sister and mother who I am not close to picked the adoptive parents for my daughter who was taken from me by CPS as a baby. The adoptive parents are not Christians as I would have preferred. At age 19 my daughter had her boyfriend move in with her. That hurt me. She was very precious to me. I had wanted her to marry, not just live with a man. She is also very mean and rude and doesn't care about my feelings. I believe that her adoptive parents have much to do with that. They raised her to believe that an adoptive mother is nothing. She knows very well I have been waiting years to see her again. She doesn't care and doesn't care to see me. She basically doesn't care at all about my feelings and I am afraid that the adoptive parents have raised her to be a very selfish, self-centered woman.
elizwlsn
:( I have been reunited with my 2 daughters for the past 24 yrs. I can so relate to what your going through. It was a bad placement through an agency. I was contacted by the agency when my daughters were only 14 and 16 because they were having difficulties. I had gone to the agency the year before to leave my updated info with them for when my oldest daughter turned 18 in case she chose to try and find me and since it was it was in another state and I was there for a holiday. Anyway, it's been a very hard 24 yrs. They are both raging alcoholics and one has been in and out of jail more times than I have fingers and toes. I've tried to maintain contact but sometimes it's too much for me. My family doesn't go to jail, drink around their children and do many of the things my daughters do. I ate the guilt for most of these years but have stopped. I am not the reason they are the way they are. I have done all I can to help them choose a different life...offered to pay for college, had them live with me etc. All disasterous. 10 yrs ago today, my youngest flew to me...I bought the ticket... and left her 2 1/2 yr old daughter with me to care for because she was going to go to jail and no one else was willing to take this child. She's been with me ever since. I had no other children so it's been raising a child for the first time at 60. I can now see both sides of the adoption triad. With all the behaviors from my daughters and the verbal abuse etc I've put up with over the past 24 yrs many times I have said I wished I had been one of those bm who just didn't respond when contacted. My life would have been so much easier. But I couldn't have really done that and I wouldn't have my 12 yr. old now who I adore and am so grateful for. We are celebrating, her and I, today and giving thanks for having each other.