Advertisements
Just a note before I begin. I have been off these boards for a couple of years. Funny how when things are going smoothly you just float along. But as soon as things get uncomfortable and questions come up.....right back you come to the comfort and comraderie that we find here. Kinda like church I guess. So here goes.
I finally transfered my 12 year old, 7th grade, bi racial, daughter out of our local school. Not just out of our zone, but to another school system entirely. We will be driving her to another city where she will be able to experience some diversity in her educational environment. She starts Monday, so I may need some support during this transition for her. I cried at our local school when I withdrew her yesterday. She is going from an A school into a D school. All of my friends and family are appalled by our decision to do this.
My daughter has made this decision herself. In her words, "Mom, I'm just tired of looking around and not seeing any other brown faces." She's not running away from anything....she is running toward something that has been missing in her life. She has experienced success at the local school, both academically and as an athlete. But she wants more. She wants to be around black people. In her words, "I want to be around people like me." When I reminded her that she was 1/2 white, she said "Yea but I've been around white people for the first 1/2 of my life now I want to try out some black people for awhile."
She visited for a day and followed a student. They wear uniforms. She will be in honors english and math. (both 2 hour blocks) and will be on the basketball and track teams. But, she may find that she isn't the stand out athlete at this new school. I don't know if that will be good or bad.
Well, wish my little girl luck. She is so brave. I can't believe I'm letting her do this......although I know I must.
Saj
Like
Share
Advertisements
He is doing well in this environment. Other than the surface experience of being around a large group of minorities, he is more aware of social dynamics/similarities/differences between race and class. Also learning to handle himself in good and not so great interactions with Black peers, wont be a big of an adjustment later on.
saj
So, NickChris......how did it go???? Was this a successful move for your kiddo?
Advertisements
My kid was older, his previous middle school already pulled in other demographics with Black kids. We saw the discomfort he had with kids outside of our subdivision zone.. these kids tested his comfort with others from other socioecon groups. Lots of challenging questions, are you biracial? (he is not..just light skinned) wanting to know if he was Black enough etc;etc; made him learn to evaluate himself outside of one of the few Black kids in a White peer group. When it was time for high school for various reasons, we made the decision to change school zone, not him. lol We were there to walk and talk him through stuff. His present school has various minority groups, big on multicultural awareness.. by sheer demographics pulling from new immigrant groups. Latinos, a couple of Africans, Asians... a nice mix from the usual Black and White.I think he is more aware of how he fits in society now, its still in progress..so cannot say what the full outcome will be, other than he is well rounded. :-) Saj, the good thing is she verbalized the need for this change, just keep doing what you are doing.
saj
So glad to hear it's going well. My gal also needs to realize there is a difference between race and class. (sigh) She has sooo much to experience and learn. I hope this will be a positive experience for her. Thanks again for your input.Saj
Coming in late here but I think you made a great choice. I'm impressed that your daughter was able to articulate her needs to you. You must have a wonderful relationship with her. I know it must have been a hard choice due to the disapproval of your family.
I moved to a new state a year ago due to health reasons and needing to be near my family for help. Our elementary school has quite a bit of diversity and the minority families are mostly middle to upper class families -same as the CC families which makes it nice. It's good for the kids to see that minority families do just as well as others.
When my kids get to middle school and high school, there will be even more AA students from other parts of our area. Many of them from the urban city so they will also experience folks from other class levels. From what I have heard, everyone gets along quite well though. Not many fights and no gang issues within the school.
Keep us updated and let us know how it's going.
Advertisements
Bethany,
DD is 3 almost 3 1/2 now. We are adjusting to a new life. 13 months ago I met a man and now I've been newly married for 5 weeks. The great thing is that he loves and adores DD (he is a sw, but a medical sw that facilitates domestic violence and substance abuse groups through the department of probation/parole) and completely gets the fost/adopt and of course he works with people who have had their children taken into foster care, so it's interesting.
So it's been a roller coaster year.
Advertisements
I was thinking it wasn't a good idea, until I saw that it is HER idea, not yours. I think she might decide that she wants to go back to her old school, but I would probably have her stay and at least finish the term at the new school. She is at one of the most difficult ages a girl ever has to go through. There may be challenges that she thinks would be helped by being around people who look like her, that she will find are the same, no matter what color of skin most of her classmates have.Another thing is that, in my experience, my black kids have always been very popular in school, because they are unique. She might find she misses that. I'd be interested to see what happens with the sports, too. Here in Utah, we have very few black people. My biracial (Haitian/Filipino) daughter is one of the stars of the track team, good enough that we are looking at track scholarships for college next year. Several of the few other black or biracial girls are on it, too, and the other teams they compete against are well represented with girls with some amount of African ancestry, too.