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I recently made contact with my birth father. We really hit off. We chat for hours. It's like we picked up right where we left off when I last saw him when I was two years old. He is remarried now and he and his wife invited me to spend New Years with them. I am so nervous and excited. The only obstacle is getting past my adoptive parents. They aren't too sure about it. How should I convince them that it's okay? I am almost twenty but I still live with them. I will be buying my own plane ticket to Michigan but they still worry. Any tips?
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I'm sorry. I don't have any tips for you.
But, I hope you have a wonderful time with your b-dad.
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Kierstenrc
I recently made contact with my birth father. We really hit off. We chat for hours. It's like we picked up right where we left off when I last saw him when I was two years old. He is remarried now and he and his wife invited me to spend New Years with them. I am so nervous and excited. The only obstacle is getting past my adoptive parents. They aren't too sure about it. How should I convince them that it's okay? I am almost twenty but I still live with them. I will be buying my own plane ticket to Michigan but they still worry. Any tips?
I don't have any real tips either I'm sorry to say. But your OP doesn't say why your a-parents aren't too sure about it. Do they know something about your b-father that you don't? Do they have some kind of inside information that would cause them to feel this way? Are they just not crazy about you travelling on your own?
I'm coming at this from an adoptee's perspective, and hopefully there are parents out there who could give their points of view (in fact it may be helpful to post this question on one of the other boards to see if you get a different viewpoint). But I think it's fairly common for a-parents to not be too crazy about their child reuniting with b-parents because they fear that they're being replaced. Or that they've somehow failed their child and that "must" be the reason that the child wants to go searching for something else.
As adoptees, we know that frequently isn't the case. But it might be some of what your a-parents are feeling. And if that's true, then maybe it helps to give a sense of how to talk to them about your visit.
My guesswork anyway. Hope it works out well for all.
Best,
PADJ
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