Advertisements
So here's the thing. I'm looking to do a domestic infant adoption, but I want a closed adoption. All of the agencies I've talked to have told me that it will take a lot longer for me to get matched if I'm looking for closed, so I was thinking of just saying I want open, and then closing it after the adoption finalizes. I hear of people doing that all of the time and I want advice from other adoptive parents who have closed their open adoptions.
Like
Share
Ohhh, brace yourself for the responses!
I think it would be unethical to misrepresent yourself as an adoptive parent seeking an open adoption if those are your intentions. I do think it would be fine to join an agency that does open adoptions if you're upfront with them and all potential birth parents about what you want. (That is, if they'd even still take you on. Dunno about that.) There's no one type of adoption that works for everyone, so open isn't every potential birth parent's ideal, either, but you've got to be honest about it. Your baby would grow up some day and what if he searched and discovered you'd misled his or her birth parents to get him? That's to say nothing of the responsibility you'd have for the pain of his birth mother who thought she'd have a relationship of some sort.
It's not wrong to want a closed adoption, but my opinion is that lying is the wrong way to do it.
Advertisements
I'm really confused why you'd want to advocate for the rights of fathers in your first post and yet here you want to go about lying to an emom and closing the adoption after finalization.2 completely different ends to come to, imo. I mean, you are just SICK about how few rights fathers have in most states and yet here you are just dandy about lying?Hmm...
Sure, why not! Lie, cheat, and steal--as long as you get what you want, it's all good, right?
I mean, it's all about you, right? Who cares about the best interest of the adoptee or the feelings of his/her natural mom or dad or any of those people. You you you!
Hopefully, you won't pass a psych eval. Unfortunately, as an adult adoptee, I know all too well that there are plenty of agencies that will sell a baby to anyone, no matter how despicable or morally corrupt, as long as they can write that big, fat check.
Advertisements