Advice on moving towards more open adoption

I guess I'm not totally sure why you wouldn't give her your actual cell number. I personally think it's pretty hard to have genuine and respectful contact when you don't/won't trust the other party to even have your actual contact information. We gave our son's birth parents our physical address, phone numbers, and email addresses before birth - they are our family now and there aren't any other family members I hide that information from. I guess it's obvious I don't really understand semi-open (semi-closed) adoption arrangements in general unless there are safety issues involved - that doesn't seem to be the case here. She perhaps made one decision that crossed some boundaries, but she also showed good judgment by showing up when her child wouldn't be there. And it's important to realize her reason for showing up unannounced wasn't because of poor boundaries, it was because she had no other options to attempt to maintain a relationship with her child. Asking for a loan wasn't great judgment, but you said no and problem solved. Remember the main reason all of us (adoptive and birth parents) do open adoption is because it is what is best for the child. Do you want your child to see that you were insecure enough about this relationship that you couldn't even give her your real cell phone number? I mean, that's a pretty small thing when you think about it. So, if anything I think you are overthinking this. Tell your husband to get over it, honestly - this is adoption, your child has birth parents and he/she deserves to have a relationship with them (assuming no safety issues). A cell phone number is super low stakes - the very worst that can happen is she calls you more than you want. If that happens, you could set a schedule or something. Absolute worst case scenario you can change your number (I would never recommend this, but it shows how low stakes this really is). Reading this again, it sounds like she doesn't know you didn't renew the prepaid phone? So, her only way of contacting you is an email address and she doesn't have internet access? And if she calls the number she has for you, it'll just be disconnected? If I'm understanding this correctly, please put $5 on the pre-paid phone so she can at least call and not get a disconnected number - I can't imagine the grief that would cause especially considering her previous experiences.Good luck. These relationships can be hard to navigate, but also easy - just treat the relationship in a way you will feel proud of when your child is grown and won't instill in your child that they have to choose between their families.