Can I Find My "Legally Omitted" Father?

Is there any information about your father in the adoption records? Non-ID, etc? The father field was blank on my 1962 Birth Certificate. In my non-id there was general info about him and his family. My mother had named him in the agencies records, but they did not put his name on my BC, nor did they tell him I existed, or that I was being adopted. Of course they couldn't/wouldn't tell me his name. But I found a way to get that info from them eventually.

The Cradle gave me the general non-identifying information about him. He knew about me. How did you convince them to give you the name?

I bugged the crap out of them :)I called frequently, enough to know how many people worked in that department, and their names. I even mailed holiday cards, and thank you cards and gifts for non-id. I was kind, and let them know how much it meant to me to be able to have this info that THEY had right in front of them. They knew who I was when I called back the next time. That was when I was 30-40. When I was 18 they put me in jail for the night. I thought since I was 18 I could just go and ask and get the info. The woman laughed at me and said no, while holding my file with my families' names in it. I guess I didn't take it so well. Luckily that old hag retired by the time I picked my search back up at 30.I requested non-id more than once, and each time they gave me a little more info. Basically I begged and pleaded in a sane way. One woman in particular must have realized that I wasn't going away, I wasn't going to give up. She knew I knew she had the info right in front of her, because I pointed that out to her LOL I think I just wore her down to the point where she just couldn't take denying me once again.She told me that she couldn't tell me his name, or the letters in his name. But she could tell me what letters weren't in his name. So we went through the alphabet with her being silent at the correct letter until I had his first and last name. I got lucky.Even with his name I couldn't find him, there were hundreds with his name, many who got a letter from me:o . But in the last bunch of non-id she sent me she forgot to black out his mothers name like they did the rest of them. And I could partially see another one of her son's names. I found her on rootsweb.com, knew it was the right person when I saw my uncles odd first name, found a phone number for him and called, and it went well from there.Since they did have general info I'd think they have his name as well.I would ask if they had his name on record. And other family members names.I think they can tell you that.I would ask "I think his last name started with a S, is that right?" Or "I was told his last name was smith, is that right? Get the phone book LOLThey can confirm the information you provide, or say it is wrong, they just can't tell you what it is if you don't already know.It's all in wording the questions right.I am sure every place is different, but it never hurts to try. Call them again and ask if there is anything else they can send you, anything about you. I got pretty typed descriptions AND eventually copies of original forms that were filled out during the course of it all, with all identifying info marked out with a black marker.Think of the info that could be in your file, all sorts of stuff, doctor reports, possibly foster care info about you and your health, progress, status, habits, etc. Ask if they have anything they could send you with more detail than what you have already gotten. That you are not satisfied, yet.Edited to add: Stress that you want to know more about YOU, the reason for your search, not that you just want your fathers name. It's about you, no so much him.

My non-id said my father knew all about it. It's possible, but hopefully not the case with yours, I hope. A lot of my non-id was dressed up pretty, I guess the intention was to help make me feel better about it all. And to make me look better to my soon to be aparents too I imagine.