Need your opinion- used Christmas gifts

While I respect others opinions I wanted to share mine. I believe if it's in very good condition it shouldn't matter whether it comes in a box you're going to throw away anyway. I am very grateful to my parents for teaching me to be thrifty and resourceful. Growing up, I had plenty of nice stuff that someone else loved before me. I am proud to pass these values on to the next generation. They are excited to receive what they asked for and are not concerned with how much we paid for it. Plus, I've bought new things before that ended up not working and had to be exchanged anyway. At least I can "try before I buy" the used stuff:eyebrows: However, I agree with concerns about the term "gently-used". I like the rule that volunteers go through the items first and cherry pick only the best. Everything else is given to the local thrift store. I, personally, do not donate to any charity that requires new toys/clothes. I think it sends the wrong message that only things in shiny packages have worth. If used is good enough for my kids, then it's good enough for everyone else's.

I am an avid thrift store shopper. My kids wear used clothes and play with used toys. However when it comes to give items to be used as Christmas presents, they should be new. The used items should be put away for another time of the year or for foster/adoptive families to look through and see what they want.

fish_out_of_water -- I agree with your thoughts in principle, but it is very rare for people to donate items that look as if they're new. Kids are hard on toys ... even if it only gets played with a few times it will probably look that way. I think the primary reason charities ask for new toys is because many people believe that if it's going to a charity it's "good enough" for someone poor. It is hard to get volunteers and it is a waste for them to sort through piles of junk to get one or two gift-worthy things. And like it or not, once kids get to a certain age (7 or 8 maybe?) they KNOW that this stuff is not new. When you are already a foster child and might already have been used to living in poverty, getting a "used" toy for Christmas is just another slap in the face. I also get upset when people buy cheap crap from the dollar store for the "ornament trees" that you see at some stores, where you sponsor a kid's present. You know, where the kid wants a Barbie, but instead gets a $1 Barbie knock-off that will break into pieces within a few minutes. You don't have to buy the $65 special edition Barbie but for heaven's sake you could spend a few dollars more on something that will last longer than 5 minutes. The foster kids probably already get that kind of junk from their bios at the visit, I know my STBAS certainly did. We were really poor for awhile when we were young children and didn't have a lot of money for extras. We had plenty of toys though thanks to hand-me-downs and Goodwills. I was pretty happy overall but there were times I looked longingly at the toys in the store and wished for once I could have a Barbie that didn't have a home haircut or feet gnawed off, or a Ken whose arms didn't keep falling off. (I don't know if they still have this problem, but when i was a kid Ken's arms could only take so much abuse before they started popping out on their own. We only had a few Kens since they rarely showed up in thrift stores, but they were constantly spontaneously self-amputating.)

I think it's extremely tacky to give any child, much less a foster child or a child living in a group home, a "gently used" gift. The organization I work with every year to get gifts for our teenage foster kids and residential kids would NEVER allow used gifts to be given to the kiddos. By the way, this organization is the same one that had custody of me in my mid-teens...and I remember how very important those Christmas presents were from the community when I was a resident in one of the group homes. We didn't get much, but we did get a pair of brand new Levi jeans and a couple things that we were allowed to specifically ask for every year.Christmas is a very hard holiday for many foster children, as well as kids locked away in reform schools, mental hospitals, RTCs, and group homes. I think it would be such a let-down to receive a used gift. Just my own two cents...

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We went to a christmas party this year for my agency. They gave my fs a stuffed animal with food or something gross stuck in it's neck and a book that had writing in it from someone else. I think most everythin.g was used or re-gifted.

We went to a christmas party this year for my agency. They gave my fs a stuffed animal with food or something gross stuck in it's neck and a book that had writing in it from someone else. I think most everything was used or re-gifted.

I have looked through my kids' gifts they received through angel trees this year. One of my little ones, the one who will soon be returning home, got a big pile of used clothes. They are name brand, but only in OK condition. I know the person who bought it was thinking that she could get so much more if she bought used, but my little one now has another pile of used things when she is perfectly capable of making things look used very quickly. She's too young to know or care, but I am very disappointed for her. Since she will return home shortly after Christmas, and will be on a trip with her mom on Christmas, it would have been nice for her to have new things for Christmas. I am very happy to buy, accept donations, and use used clothes and toys, but others have very different definitions of what is decent. A GIFT to a foster child should be new. They definitely deserve that!

I agree normal gifts should be new at Christmas. Now there are exceptions to that rule. HUGE gifts like quads, snowmobiles, even powerwheels that are in good shape we buy used. This year my god daughter will be getting her first saddle and that was bought used at a tack sale. But your normal clothing and toys in my opinion should be new at Christmas. Now as a pp said new doesn't mean it's bought at a brand name store. I have bought many "new" tags on original packaged items from thrift stores, consignment sales, etc. But I find it very wrong for foster children or any children to receive extremely used gifts. A few years ago my in-laws went through a tough time one Christmas a local group ( I think it was the Elk's or Knights of Columbus or something) chose them as a family to sponsor for the holidays. They brought bags of food and each of them parents and kids received $100 visa gift card for clothes. My brother-in-laws who were around 12 and 16 at the time received a brand new xbbox 360, new videocamera, games, remote controlled helicopters. Honestly I think all together it had to be close to $2500 worth of stuff.

My twins will receive a gently used play kitchen from us this year for Christmas. Over the years, my seven kids have all received occasional used items. Bikes, guns, snowboard, etc. It has allowed us to give much bigger items to them than we could afford at the time. The twins kitchen is beautiful! That being said, I would NEVER give a used gift for a charitible gift. I always donate the children's outgrown clothing that's still in good condition to the local kids closet, but Christmas gifts I buy new. We once had the opposite problem. I was taken a bit aback when my children's mother arranged for them to be part of a giving tree before she relinquished. We planned to provide a nice christmas for them. Due to the giving tree, they received so many more gifts than my other FS. They must have had an incredibly generous benefactor. They each received at least $1000 of designer clothes and shoes, and probably 7 or 8 toys. I was blown away. I think that was a bit excessive, or am I in the minority? We usually only buy our kids three presents. Something to wear, something to read, stocking stuffers and a big fun item. This year it's a tool bench with tools, a bike, and the play kitchen.

We have yet to buy many toys new for our (bio) kids. We get great deals for new-looking stuff at yard sales and thrift stores here. I am talking about high quality stuff that sometimes hasn't even been opened: Legos, wooden blocks, puzzles, etc. For the same amount of money that I might have spent on junk that was new, my children have had great toys. And I've kept someone else's toys from unnecessarily filling up the landfills. I've considered it as an issue before with foster children. If we are buying used for our bio and adopted children, what should we do about presents for the foster children in our house? What would be "fair"? I'm erring on the side of buying a few new things, but then they usually aren't as "nice" as what I get used for the other kids. (Also, when we buy for the foster holiday party and Toys for Tots we always buy new.)

I would wrap up a used candle in a pretty box and give it to the director as a gift. When she opens it, say "I was inspired by your suggestion to regift used items. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did".

Great suggestion Kat!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EXACTLY! I totally agree!

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