Good Visit story

I am glad that you are able to make it work. We just had a visit on Friday at Bio Great Grandma's house. We had Bio Grandpa, Bio Grandma, Bio Mom, and bio little brother and sister. My mom, husband and kids came with. Such a wierd situation but we make it work. I love the pictures that we take, they are so special to have.

What a great story! I'm hoping to arrange a visit with bio Great grandpa, great Aunt(who at one time had AD when she was in foster care) and bio great grandma, all of whom we have never seen IRL. We haven't seen grandma in over a year and I'm hoping to see her as well soon. We have a pretty open adoption with both bio parents and they have a sibling now who is 2. We see them abpout every 4 months.

We get together with my AS's biomom, biogma and biogpa at least 3 times per year. There has never been a visit without all 3 of them present as biomom is developmentally delayed. One thing I truly appreciate is that they all treat my other AS as another member of the family and gift him at the holidays and his birthday also.

I am happy for anyone who can make this situation work as I have done the same thing for my adopted son. I had a great relationship with the grandmother and his half sister, until, I couldnt take it anymore, she turned into a control freak, and had severe anger issues, We decided to stop contact... I now do not recommend anyone to do this, because grandparents have the right to file a lawsuit for visitation...My son had not seen her in over a year and 6 months later, she filed a lawsuit, i was told by DYFS this was not valid, held no merit and would be thrown out of court, I had an iron clad adoption paper, which did not include her..It was not!! We went through 6 months of pure torture, 25,000 dollars in lawyers fees, and wound up settling out of court, I settled for the sibling...people should know about this..and beware....the more contact the more ammunition they have against you....I wish you well, I just need to get this story out there ,so, nobody makes the mistake I did.

Hi, I am glad I am not the only one that knows that bio visit can sometimes turn into nightmares...I made some comments and have lots of experiences..but was 'shot down'...I am glad I am now feeling as if I am 'not crazy'..

Its sad that alot of people dont know about this, and when adopting a foster child, you should get the biological grandparents and sibling visitation ruled out in addition , to your adoption papers, or wind up like me with a 26,ooo dollar lawsuit. Nobody should adopt unless you can add this...this has left my family financially devasted

Honestly, I am not sure what it means to have grandparents and siblings ruled out. (The money the poster mentioned was for the lawsuit regarding visitation rights.) As I have only ever heard of this being an issue in a family adoption. For example, a grandparent adopts a bio grandchild and the other grandparent seeks visitation. However, I do not know anything about this poster's situation or how the grandparents were afforded rights after adoption. (In my state, that wouldn't be an issue.) I do not know if there was any type of adoption agreement before the adoption. (Not enforceable in every state, including mine.)In my state, when bio parents rights are terminated and the child is adopted, the grandparents lose all rights as well. And open adoptions are not enforceable here. According to our state laws, once the child is adopted, it is as if the child was born to them and it is up to the adoptive parents to determine who the child has contact with. Now with all that being said, anybody can sue anybody for visitation. In theory, I could sue my neighbor for visitation of their child. However, in most states, the presumption is that the parents are best suited to determine what is in their child's best interest and I would have to prove why it is in the child's best interest to have visitation with me. In other words, I probably wouldn't have a leg to stand on, but the neighbor would probably still incur attorney fees fighting that.ETA: Even if grandparents are "ruled out," it also doesn't mean they won't come back later and try to sue for visitation, but again, they would have a hard time winning, but you would still be out attorney fees. There is a risk anybody can sue anybody. I am sad for this poster (and the kids caught in the middle) in their unfortunate situation, but they are not all like that.

What is it is meant by that is that often times (I am a 20 year or more veteran of foster parenting and recently adoptive parent)-anyway...the birth family often times, when they see the progress of the child-whether foster or adopted, tend to say things like "I want to see my grandchild, I did not know they were in care, etc, etc" and they start demanding rights, either after the child comes into care on are in the final phases of adoption, in my opinion and experience they get 'jealous' and they feel 'guilty' because they 'before hand' had nothing to do with the child and to relieve the 'guilt' they act (for a little while) as if they want the child, but when they see what really comes with the 'whole deal (so-to-speak)' they abandon the child (true story)..so the "replier above" means "rule them out by making sure 'first' that they do not want the child or should have no contact with the child after they are adopted...I had made a response of the sort and was told "I was crazy in so many words" for even suggesting this, but someone out there understood what I meant...birth family tend to cause a lot of trouble after the child is adopted..it can be 'daunting'..I have personal experience with 'birth family interference'....hope this helps

I know alot of you are confused about my thread. I live in NJ, and in my state , any grandparents , be it, bio, or nonbio, Have the right to bring a lawsuit upon you if you decide to stop visitation. In my situation , DYFS told me it should be thrown out, as it would prevent children from being adopted through DYFS. If you google grandparent visitation, you will see the necessary steps they get to try and prove for visitation. I had adoption papers which stated no rights for grandparents. And it went to trial. The first trial I had a judge who was incompetent , and to make a long story short, anybody can bring a lawsuit against you and you will go to court, costing you money to hire a attorney. DYFS was upset about this happening, and feel they will now have to talk about this to adoptive parents. They wont be able to change the adoption papers, only make you aware of what can happen. My fees of 26,000 dollars is because i used a stupid lawfirm, which I will be going to fee arbitration, to lower my bill. I dont know what other states have regarding this, but you should look up your state and see what laws they have about.