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So I finally got the courage to search for my birthparents, i am older, my adopted parents are no longer alive and i felt the time was right. I just found out that my birth mom passed away in 2001, she never told the father she was pregnant. Only her mother knew about the birth and she died in 2011. Catholic Family Services contacted one of her brothers and he knew nothing of the pregnancy and was not interested in any contact. What hurts the most is all i asked for was a picture. I have 2 half sisters that I will never meet and who will know nothing about me. I'm not sure what to do at this point, i feel very sad about a person i never met. Growing up i guess I had a different expectation of what I would find if I decided to search, now I can't take it back. I don't know anyone else who is adopted, is it normal to feel this way?
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I think what you are feeling is quite normal. I am adopted and I waited until I was 40 or so to find my birthparents.
Sadly, things started off well and they have reached a hairpin turn where I think we all need tow trucks or an act of some higher power to get us back on the road again.
I had the opportunity to meet both my birth parents and I know that there will come a time when I will be alone with very little contact.
Grieving this is hard and my heart goes out to you. If you have an idea where your siblings are; I would try to contact them. They may have more of an opening to meet you.
Good luck.
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Nickt,I don't know if you're still around, as this post is several months old, but...I am sorry for your loss.I'm facing a similar situation, in that I chose to search and have also discovered I'm too late. My birth mother passed away in 2009. It was a loss that I simply was not ready to face, and my grief and regret have totally blindsided me. Your sadness seems totally normal to me.I hope that the rawness of your grief has eased a bit over the past few months.Like Murphymalone said above, if you have any information about your half-sisters, or can dig any up via a search of your own, you may want to consider reaching out to them. They may feel differently from their uncle about contact with you. It's worth a try, no?Again, I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you can move forward, either with or without contact with your half-sisters, and find a measure of peace...
Thanks for the replies and advise. I did contact the two daughters in March and have since met one, the other is not interested. The one I met was great and shared pictures and stories about my birth mom. I have also learned who my birth father is but have not figured out what to do, he was never told about me.
I'm sorry to hear that one of your half-sisters was uninterested in contact. But it's lovely that the other one is. I hope you have joy in your relationship with her.As for your birth father, that sounds like a difficult choice you'll have to make. I don't think that's something anyone else can really help you decide. Hopefully, as the information sinks in more and more, you'll come to a sense of what's best for you - and you can hope it's best for your birth father too.Good luck!