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Today part of my search has come to an end. Last year I got my non-id from Ca. I had been searching on my own with only last names. I had one name in my baby book that I always knew in my heart belonged to me. Thur a search angel I found out my paternal last name. So armed with that I began searching the many other sites and found some names. Then thru the freewhitepages and Familysearch.org I found I had a half-sister. Well, today I met that half-sister on Facebook! My bio mom is still alive but doesn't want contact right now. Her secret is out! My sister had no idea I existed untiI friended her on FB thru a cousin I also found. She still lives in Ca but travels a lot. I am so happy right now but this kinda leaves me with more questions. My bio mom told my sister last night that my dad passed away but I don't know if she's telling the truth. Time will tell.
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Try not to take it to heart. Was you born in 1974?
My son was born years later than you but I was still expected to get on with my life and not talk about him but I never forgot about him. I was in shock when we reunited as I never thought it would happen. The only difference is my husband knew about him. Maybe she will come round ~ I hope she does for your sake.
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:flower: Yep, child of the 70s. I hope your reunion went well and are in a happy reunion. For everything my new family has said, my bio mom just needs time but will come around. I am in contact with my bio-mom's estranged hubby and he called me tonight and actually said he already thinks of me as his daughter. That made me feel so wonderful I wanted to cry. I also realize she may never want contact and hope they don't push her to do something she doesn't want to. For now, I will take what I can. I am dang lucky to have found, at least some of my bio family, and feel closer to my bio mom.
Kandis, there actually was a reason behind the madness of women not telling their husbands about relinquishing a baby for adoption in the Baby Scoop Era (1945-1974) and probably up until the 1980s. The agency social workers almost always advised them NOT TO TELL because after they got married, their future husbands could easily gain full custody of any children if there was a divorce. Most courts readily awarded physical custody to the fathers of subsequent children on the grounds of "unfit mother." You see, the mothers of the BSE were really caught between a rock and a hard place. We were told that if we really loved our babies born outside of wedlock, then we would relinquish them for adoption, so they could be raised by mature, financially stable, married couples. But as soon as we signed those papers, we were often viewed as unfit mothers within the eyes of the law. I've met a lot of women throughout the years whose husbands used this tactic to gain full custody of their kids after divorcing their wives.
Kandis1974
Today part of my search has come to an end. Last year I got my non-id from Ca. I had been searching on my own with only last names. I had one name in my baby book that I always knew in my heart belonged to me. Thur a search angel I found out my paternal last name. So armed with that I began searching the many other sites and found some names. Then thru the freewhitepages and Familysearch.org I found I had a half-sister. Well, today I met that half-sister on Facebook! My bio mom is still alive but doesn't want contact right now. Her secret is out! My sister had no idea I existed untiI friended her on FB thru a cousin I also found. She still lives in Ca but travels a lot. I am so happy right now but this kinda leaves me with more questions. My bio mom told my sister last night that my dad passed away but I don't know if she's telling the truth. Time will tell.