We are finally done (i think)

Finally! Glad to hear the (semi-good) news but so sorry for all you have gone through...

Sass-I know you are exhausted. But I really hope you don't let them off free on this one. They put your family through hell, accused you of abuse and abandonment, and allowed themselves and a totally inexperienced foster family to be completely manipulated by a teenager determined to hurt you. I hope you hold their feet to the fire about what they NEED to learn from this, about dealing with RAD kids: interviewing therapists, school administrators, other family members, etc., before they throw everything upside down on the word of a very unhealthy adolescent. They victimized you. I don't mean to make them pay; I mean to make them LEARN, about how they must conduct business differently from now on, to avoid making victims of other families, and to avoid emboldening the abuser and undermining those trying to keep her, and yourselves safe. Just the fact that they think after a couple months they are experiencing "worse than what you dealt with" shows that they are still so, so ignorant about the reality of this case that they have bungled so egregiously. We all make mistakes and are human, but we have to learn from it, and they need to learn from this. I hope you uncover every bit of truth and demand accountability for every major oversight that could have prevented this tragedy.

what she said. i am relieved that the truth is now apparent, that you are going to be allowed to live your life without that fear, but there is definitely a need for some kind of.........something to make restitution to you and to stop it from happening to others in the future. congratulations on your vindication. and i am terribly sorry for all that it has cost.

I wish you all healing. Everyone has been through a lot. You, your daughter, your husband, your other children, even those unexpecting well-meaning foster parents. Good luck, at least there is some validation now . . .

I am not sure how to hold their feet to the fire. WE have no money for a lawsuit. I would not want money. I would want an apology from our county attorney and our GAL and an admission they handled this WRONG.

Additionally, they failed to protect your Dd. They did not properly evaluate and determine the level of need your Dd has, and then placed her with a family who did not understand the level of need that she had. The agency and the foster parents failed to provide the boundaries she needed in order to be safe. The main purpose of your state agency is to insure the safety of children. They failed to do this. I would think that this is grounds for a formal complaint, at the least. In the process of failing to protect your Dd, they also victimized the rest of your family.If you were to consult a lawyer you might find out for relatively low expense what your options are, if any.

I know my husband is like write the attorney general, file a complaint with the bar. I guess I will have to do some research. Any attorney around here will not touch it I am sure. They won't want to make waves with a local agency.

I have followed your posts for a few years. I have watched my child younger than yours progress or should I say regressed the same as yours. She has now surpassed yours. The thing is that people who are supposed to be helping these children are just making them sicker and destroying the families who are desperately trying to get help. The cycle just continues, families are isolated, beaten down and destroyed while these childrens' mental health deteriorates and they are robbed of a future. Take care of yourselves.

In the cases I know about there were class action lawsuits filed against the state, not the local branch of the agency. I know of a couple of such instances. There may be others in your state who are in a similar situation.

Here is the thing. I do not want money. I want an apology and maybe a letter of reprimand for these **** lawyers. I think we are going to look into filing a formal complaint against the GAL. Not sure how to file a complaint against the agency or the county attorney unless we sue and that is NOT what this is about.. This is about making sure no other family gets put through this.

I understand that you do not want money. But lawsuits are not always about the money. The money is just the means by which someone is forced to change. The point of the lawsuit here would be to force the fostercare system to change the way it treats the children in their care. A lawsuit about your daughters case could result in an entire upheaval of your local system. It could mean more child/family counseling while the child is young, before adoption occurs. It could mean more counseling after the adoption to ensure that bonding is occuring. It could mean more training for foster and adoptive parents about RAD. Or, it could just ensure that the system look closer at the background of a child before acting (like getting statements from teachers, doctors, etc). Taking money away from them is often the only way to get their attention. It's not about the money you might get, it's about the money they will lose, and how the fear of that happening again will force them to change their ways.

Yeah I am not sure we can afford a full out lawsuit but I think we can at the LEAST file a formal complaint and I will be looking into THAT at the LEAST. My husband is also going to consult our state Attorney General Office.

Hey nothing about this has NOT been crazy. It can't hurt to write some letters.....week after week after week LOL.

Not sure why but this made me giggle this morning. Go Sassifras!

Well we consulted an attorney on a referral from a friend from a major city 3 hours from us. She used to actually be a CASA worker. Basically she said that we can't do anything to the county attorney because we signed the no contest statement. She said we could file a complaint with the bar association with the GAL but that she would never advise doing that as it is an attorneys worse nightmare. Then my DH told her about her going after our subsidy and she gave him the websites to do it. She said she couldn't really give us legal advice because we have an attorney (our crappy court appointed attorney) but that we should be paying child support so maybe we should say we got lucky with that that and let it be. We said we were afraid the GAL would retaliate against us and she said well you could wait until the case is over after your daughter is 18 and file the complaint because she should be the GAL until the case is over and our rights are not severed so we would have the right to do that. So not much we can do sadly. They all screwed up and they all got away with it..