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Please help me in a matter. I'm trying to find out if this is something adoptees go thru or is this behaviour just something my family display only. From 13 to 45 every emotion I have seems to be a result of "my being adopted". No matter what feeling I have, according to my parents/brother I feel that way because I'm adopted. If I'm angry/sad, oppose anything ...little or big ...I am told I only feel that way because I'm adopted. When I'm happy/celebratory/successful I am told ..."Aren't you glad that we adopted you?" ....If I confronted them about this immediatly it gets around that I'm not mad at what happened but because you know she is adopted.....I don't understand this behaviour. I don't know what to do anymore ...seems like I'm never allowed to feel anything without my being adopted as the reason. I've looked inwardly, Was I doing something for them to react in this way. I don't think so I never bring up being adopted THEY do. Thanks for any advice.
Have you tried having a family sit down and discussing why feel that way (or what they see) that makes them say that?
If you have what about saying the it's because they (person specific) is a bio and see how they react - or each time they say that ask them why they feel that way and make them explain in detail with ongoing questions based on each answer they give you.
Sorry you are going through that but I think the first suggestion is worth considering.
Kind regards,
Dickons
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Thank you so very much for reaffirming my thoughts ...sometimes I need to hear outside my head an idea that I think is okay but maybe I should ask. I will be having a family meeting. Thank you very much for your suggestion and thoughts......~debbie
Hi Debbie
I'm an adoptee, and no, this is not normal. Its almost as if they treat you like you're a totally different person because of the adoption. I agree, need to sit them down and have a chat.
If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me. Good luck