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Hi! I started a blog awhile back and just posted about the open adoption we are entering into.
We think we're being a bit unconventional as we plan to allow the kids' biological grandparents to be grandparents in whatever capacity they desire. Over the past three years they have demonstrated a genuine love and devotion to these three children. Unfortunately, they were unable to adopt and raise the children themselves. So, we're going to do our best to allow them to be grandparents.
The first way we're doing this is by getting together with them and discussing the needs of the kids and some requirements we have for the family. The agenda for the meeting we plan to have with them is posted on the blog.
I wanted to share this open adoption discussion agenda here because it might be very useful for others contemplating the same type of relationship with biological families. I've found very little about this type of open adoption in my research and looking on this forum and hope this will be helpful for others.
Anyway...if you have time to read this, please let me know what you think. Thanks.
The url for the blog is [url=http://www.workathomefostermom.com]Work at Home Foster Mom[/url] and it is the most recent post.
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Hi! I started a blog awhile back and just posted about the open adoption we are entering into.
We think we're being a bit unconventional as we plan to allow the kids' biological grandparents to be grandparents in whatever capacity they desire. Over the past three years they have demonstrated a genuine love and devotion to these three children. Unfortunately, they were unable to adopt and raise the children themselves. So, we're going to do our best to allow them to be grandparents.
The first way we're doing this is by getting together with them and discussing the needs of the kids and some requirements we have for the family. The agenda for the meeting we plan to have with them is posted on the blog.
I wanted to share this open adoption discussion agenda here because it might be very useful for others contemplating the same type of relationship with biological families. I've found very little about this type of open adoption in my research and looking on this forum and hope this will be helpful for others.
Anyway...if you have time to read this, please let me know what you think. Thanks.
The url for the blog is [url=http://www.workathomefostermom.com]Work at Home Foster Mom[/url] and it is the most recent post.
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[QUOTE]Both the adoptive parents and biological family will not discuss with the children why they are adopted unless all parties are present and have previously discussed the age-appropriate approach to take when explaining this topic to the children.[/QUOTE
I would be careful with this one. These are your children and I think that you may be setting it up to undermine yourselves as their parents. These topics and conversations come up when watching a movie or tucking into bed. You need to be able to answer these questions and topics in the moment and as pertinent to the conversation not book the grands into an appointment to discuss.
As far as the children not be "taught" to wear long belts and baggy clothing. If they are around it and see it they are being taught it.......they have probably already learned it.
I would also be cautious about any overnights or unsupervised visits if the agenda items about gang members and drugs etc are even a concern. I would lean more towards the grandparents visiting with you and the children as a family, going on outings, grandparents coming to school or community functions or children's sports etc.....that will model to the children that both bio and adoptive family accept each other and it will also reduce confusion for the children.
We have a pretty unconventional and very open adoption after foster care the best advice that I could give would be to go slowly and create the relationship that evolves into the kind of openness that you want.
Wishing you well on your journey
SM