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I'm an older, gay man and I usually only inquire on kids when I think I meet the desired parent description in the profile. Sometimes all that's indicated is whether or not they'd consider single male parents. From time-to-time my worker has been contacted by other agencies to see if I'd be interested in a specific child they have. Sometimes it's a kid who I've seen on a photolisting and I didn't inquire because it's clear that they wanted two parents. Other times it's a child who the listing said needs parents with a lot of experience. What I've found is that if they can't find their first or second parental choice, they might consider me. I find that this also happens with older kids who are getting close to aging out of the system. Am I wrong in feeling irritated because I'm only being offered these kids because they couldn't find anyone else to take them, and that some of them probably have needs that are beyond what I could handle?
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I'm still in the home study process, so not submitting inquiries yet, but I think sometimes the "ideal" family portrayed in the profile is just what the case worker's happened to be thinking at that point. Unfortunately, it seems that for most cases the default is 2-parent mom/dad family, and other types of families are considered mainly in cases where they have ruled out "traditional" families for some reason (such as failed placements, or not getting any interested families).
For example, I know of a case (a kid I worked with years ago), where it was evident from a young age that he did better with males than females. But it wasn't until his most recent update, AT AGE 17, that they finally changed his profile to specifically request 2-dad or single-dad families. And that was only after he developed a pattern of aggression toward female authority figures. Of course, there's very little chance that a high-needs 17-year-old is going to be adopted now, but it makes me mad when I think how things might have turned out differently if they had begun seeking male-parent-only families years ago.
So yeah, I think you are justified to feel irritated. Maybe you could expand to submitting inquiries on cases where there is a lot of emphasis on the desire for a dad, even if it says they want a traditional two-parent families. It may be that the case workers (or kids in cases where they're old enough to have some say) just haven't thought about single-dad families as an option, and your inquiry may open their eyes to that possibility.
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The kids we were matched with had a profile that preferred a stay at home Mom. We both work full time. We inquired anyway, after meeting them at a matching event. Turns out we had a lot of the same interests as our boys and that got us into an interview for them. We had a lot of things they were looking for except the stay at home parent so we were chosen anyway. I think it's hard to find an exact perfect match in every way, so I would inquire on any child you have an interest in. Once they look over your home study they can decide if you could be a good fit or not.
My Husband and I both feel that you have a personal rights to feel irritated.
We feel that if you would like a younger Family. You have a right just the same as we do as a Married Couple.
On a Professional Level, what I would ask is what is your explanation of your Lifestyle be to a Younger Family??
I agree also with the previous post of attending Matching Events.
Our Family, we have Gay Male Friends. Whose 9 years old Daughter picked them out to be as both of her Dads at a Matching Event Picnic or Day at the Park!!
Olivia loves living with them and being a part of their Family.
They have a Infant Son Daniel through Egg Donorship and Surrogacy!!
Reach for your Stars as a Family and a Dad!!
Juli