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REally she called last night at 9:30 out of the blue. The worker was on to monitor of course. NO ONE gavve us a heads up. We were actually talking about her when she called. Hubby is having a hard time. They just talked like nothing had ever happened. How is school? ARe you ungrounded? Blah Blah Blah. Honey this and honey that. Then of course it was my turn so I faked it like a good mother. My DH has went back on ALL he said. I feel so lied to and betrayed. I can't just act like nothing has happened, well I guess I can cause I sure as hell did last night without some type of apology, acknowledgement etc. It just feels like I am the only bad one cause I am the target, all the blame was placed on me. It is like she gets her cake an eats it too. And if I throw a fit it will be making him choose and he will resent me later. If I just stuff it all down I will resent him. This girl is going to cause trouble the rest of MY life. I can't even go see my therapist because of the CRAP new job I had to take because of HER and the attendence policy is so unbelievablly strict. You guys are my therapy LOL
I have been reading your posts. I am SO SO sorry about that. What age did you adopt your daughter?
I have a 11 year old RAD daughter...I know how you feel. They are SO SO tough, manipulative, steals lies...etc etc etc!
The way they can triangular people too is amazing.
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Nope cause she wanted to talk to me too. So she wasn't trying to triangulate him LOL. She talked to both of us. We just had the biggest fight ever. I dont know what to do. I don't want to make him choose between his daughter and his wife but it feels so disloyal that he can just act like the slate is wiped clean when she has caused so much pain to ME. It's just a no win, no win, no win.
I am not trying to add fuel to the disloyal fire but sometimes it's very hard for dads to just give up. just like it is for moms. his heart and his head could be having one of those epic battles, the kind where you already know your head is right, but your heart wants what it wants.
maybe he really wants everything to be perfect and isn't quite as ready as you are to acknowledge reality. our ability to delude ourselves is monumental.
(((sassafras))) no one wants to make the choice between spouse and child. you are absolutely right--no win. for anyone.
praying for both of you--all of you.
Sending tons of *hugs* I can't even imagine how difficult this must be. My DH is very much a forgive and forget type as well. While I agree with the theory of the former, the latter with an RAD kid is what turns around and bites you in the a$$.
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