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We are fighting again. He saw his therapist today. He told him both his feelings and mine are justified. Okay so what do we do? I am sorry I do NOT understand how he can just forgive this child for doing things that could've gotten my other child removed. For all the things she has done to me OVER TEN YEARS. He did have a different relationship with her and that is what he says. He says he is in a different place with her than me. But how can I get over the anger that I feel. That she hasn't apologized, just gets the best of both worlds. Her wonderful life in foster care and her father. I do not want to make him choose between us but how do I NOT be angry n at him? It feels like a total betrayal to me. He was like all this over a phone call? It was not just the phone call it was the call represented and he has done such a 180. I feel lied to. I feel betrayed. I feel like him saying what she did she did to me not him. That is like saying if the neighbor raped me hey he did it to me not him. I honoestly think we are going to end up divorced. We are just doomed. If he chooses no contact with her then he will resent me later but I resent the contact. Especially so soon after all she has done.
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i know you already know this, but sometimes therapy initially increases the intensity of the emotion and it takes awhile to process.
please, give yourself whatever time it takes for you to be able to get past your hurt and anger. you've suffered a great loss--part of this is probably grief. and it takes time.
(((sassafras)))
well it did nothing for me. Just basically I have to figure out how to get over this anger at her and not project it onto him and be respectful of his feelings for her blah blah blah. My homework is to write a letter to her how I feel about the last ten years LOL. It'll be a book. I just basically feel like I was told, get over it. Well yeah but how? Apparenly that is what we will be working on LOL
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LOL you wanna tell me the first step. I just got the LONGEST email EVER from the worker last night. Now our daughter would LOVE calls and visits and we r supposed to let her know if we are interested. My husband will be told tonight. She has blown her placement and she is looking for somewhere else to put her. My daughter of course wants to go to indepenent living and the worker says no way but if they can't find a place for her then what? WTH is gonna take her? If my DH goes back on his word tonight I dk what will happen. LOL the worker asked about our family, work etc? She has NEVER gave a rats *** about any of that!
The first step is believing it can happen eventually, and remembering you're on the same team. It also means agreeing to do whatever is necessary to keep moving forward. It means looking at things from each other's perspective and adjust your sensitivities or choices accordingly.I think you need to come up with a set of guidelines or boundaries, when it comes to your daughter. That way you're both on the same page.
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we BEGGED for RTC at the start of this mess. Our states have all but shut down the RTCs. The state is broke. She has been in Two RTCs before. Obviously they did alot of good. So I bet a group home is the next stop or a foster family that just doesn't care. Either option doesn't seem good.
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we BEGGED for RTC at the start of this mess. Our states have all but shut down the RTCs. The state is broke. She has been in Two RTCs before. Obviously they did alot of good. So I bet a group home is the next stop or a foster family that just doesn't care. Either option doesn't seem good.