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My sister has always wanted to be a mother. Now both her and her husband have fertility issues and after getting help TTC, have given up trying to become parents.
If this were childfree vs having kids, I'd believe her. But I've been her little sister thirty years now and this is bullcrap. More like childless. KWIM? She's generally got a negative view of adoption, but I think she's shooting herself in the foot. But then, she always says I over simplify things. I say she makes things too complicated.
I haven't said anything while she was TTC because I didn't want to be an insensitive jerk. Should I sit down and shut up? She's putting on a happy front but I know she's very upset. I'm just not very good at this stuff. I don't know if I'm being selfish avoiding a conversation I don't want to have or selfish bringing it up because I feel bad for her.
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It may be that they need a little time to process what they were told at the doctors. I would give them a bit of time and when the subject is brought up, by her, the next time you might gently ask if they have ever thought of either being foster or adoptive parents.
The key is to be very gentle and understanding. If you know of anyone who has adopted, you might ask her if it would be ok to give her their phone number so she could talk with them. Just make sure that you leave the option of whether, or not to call them up to her. Don't ask her if she did, let her bring it up with you.
Just my opinion.
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Withay
It may be that they need a little time to process what they were told at the doctors. I would give them a bit of time and when the subject is brought up, by her, the next time you might gently ask if they have ever thought of either being foster or adoptive parents.
The key is to be very gentle and understanding. If you know of anyone who has adopted, you might ask her if it would be ok to give her their phone number so she could talk with them. Just make sure that you leave the option of whether, or not to call them up to her. Don't ask her if she did, let her bring it up with you.
Just my opinion.
I'm good with processing. Guesstimate on how long she'd need for that? Cause the last I heard was in the summer.
I think because the only people that we know, that were adopted as kids, were examples of what not to do, she has a bad impression. Plus, Mom's experience doesn't help.
When she starts a sentence with "I feel", my stomach drops because I'm probably about to get in trouble for being insensitive. I was hoping that one of her friends or husband would bring it up, but they said they were hoping I would. :mad: This is why cars are better than people. Engines don't make me uncomfortable. I wanna help and not make things worse. I love the giving her space suggestion. I can hang out with people and avoid the elephant in the room like you wouldn't believe. :happydance:
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