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Hello,
Well this is really hard for me, but bear with me ... I've been in a relationship for a month now. Last week end I was at a bar with my boyfriend, and he left early so I stayed a bit longer alone until someone would pick me up and bring me home (a friend) anywayssss we had drunk a lot, and I wasn't well at all, when a guy proposed to bring me home, being totally drunk I said yes... He brought me back at his place unfortunately and wanted to have sex with me .. I was so drunk and scared I couldn't say anything to stop him, until alerted by my mom my boyfriend called at the bar and the bartender said she left with some guy to bring her back... He found the p,ace thanks to friends of his, he was with my mom, and a friend of mine, they were scared as hell when they found me in his bed.. Naked.. And I didn't understand what was going on... My boyfriend punched the guy in the face they brought me home.
The next day friends are over and my boyfriend too, I didn't know what to say I was scared, ashamed, feeling guilty.. Now my boyfriend wants me to open up because he feels awful, stopped eating etc ... And I know it's all my fault, I just don't know how to open up and I don't want to open up because I'm scared, like really scared ... My friends told him to dump me, he didn't, but I feel so alone, nothing happened between the guy and me thankfully, but when I came back to my senses I didn't know what to do.
I feel sorry, my boyfriend says he forgives me, but he really wants me to open up, the thing is I have been raped by my brother in law and I don't want anybody to know in my family or friends... My boyfriends feels like I'm totally normal, like it doesn't disturbs me, but of course it does... Anyways I don't know what to do, I'm lost...
P.s please don't judge it's hard enough... All advice is taken anyway
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(((Hugs))) Have you seen a therapist to help you deal with what happened to you? You really need someone you can talk to. Also, your BIL should pay for what he did to you. Please understand that him raping you was not your fault! You are the victim, he is the criminal. As for the situation with your boyfriend: I would advise you to stop drinking. Never allow yourself to be at a bar(or anywhere) where you are impaired to the point that you are in a situation like that ever again! Having a stranger take you anywhere can be very dangerous. Your safety depends on that! I have never been raped, but I did go through a very traumatic experience as a teenager. It affected who I was. I started drinking and acting in a way that was just not me. I was finally able to get back on track, but I can honestly say that had I not, I would probably be not be alive today!So please get some help before something does happen that causes you a lot more harm than embarrassment! Also, you need to be able to communicate with your boyfriend. Yes your relationship is brand new, but if you want it to last....communication is key. Again (((hugs)))
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And I didn't understand what was going on
nothing happened between the guy and me thankfully, but when I came back to my senses I didn't know what to do.
redcherry
Hello,
Well this is really hard for me, but bear with me ... I've been in a relationship for a month now. Last week end I was at a bar with my boyfriend, and he left early so I stayed a bit longer alone until someone would pick me up and bring me home (a friend) anywayssss we had drunk a lot, and I wasn't well at all, when a guy proposed to bring me home, being totally drunk I said yes... He brought me back at his place unfortunately and wanted to have sex with me .. I was so drunk and scared I couldn't say anything to stop him, until alerted by my mom my boyfriend called at the bar and the bartender said she left with some guy to bring her back... He found the p,ace thanks to friends of his, he was with my mom, and a friend of mine, they were scared as hell when they found me in his bed.. Naked.. And I didn't understand what was going on... My boyfriend punched the guy in the face they brought me home.
The next day friends are over and my boyfriend too, I didn't know what to say I was scared, ashamed, feeling guilty.. Now my boyfriend wants me to open up because he feels awful, stopped eating etc ... And I know it's all my fault, I just don't know how to open up and I don't want to open up because I'm scared, like really scared ... My friends told him to dump me, he didn't, but I feel so alone, nothing happened between the guy and me thankfully, but when I came back to my senses I didn't know what to do.
I feel sorry, my boyfriend says he forgives me, but he really wants me to open up, the thing is I have been raped by my brother in law and I don't want anybody to know in my family or friends... My boyfriends feels like I'm totally normal, like it doesn't disturbs me, but of course it does... Anyways I don't know what to do, I'm lost...
P.s please don't judge it's hard enough... All advice is taken anyway
Hello to all, first thanks to you for all your advice, I will go and see a doctor to get checked up and certain that nothing happened because a friend of mine talked to the guy and he said nothing happened, anyways I saw a herapist today and she was calm and reassuring, I'm seeing her in 3 weeks from now.
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I only know what you have told us, but it sounds like you were already completely sloshed before your boyfriend left you alone in the bar.The man that took you home with him took advantage of your inebriated situation. At that point, you were in no position to take care of yourself.So, I am really not understanding your friends viewpoints. You were the victim. At one point, you were drinking safely with your man. Then, he left, and you were vulnerable.I'm not blaming your boyfriend. He most likely was unaware of how drunk you were. The guilty party is the man who took you home with him.I agree with feelingreyt: watch your alcohol consumption. I'm glad that you are seeing a therapist. Not sure what to think of your "friends".