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To any and all who are considering, are in process, or are twisting their hands in indecision.....my incredible birth daughter found me and contacted me last year after I finally took the step of registering myself on the state website so that if she was looking for me she could contact me. She found me. She had been actively searching for about six years. We are reunited after over 40 years as I gave her up at birth believing she would go immediately into the arms of a loving couple who would give her the stable life she deserved. The pain of "doing the right thing" as told in those days has been a part of my daily existence since then. She has now met her biological father, and three half-siblings (his son and daughter and my son). Her adoptive parents and I have met as well. My heart is overflowing with gratitude for this reunion, to be a part of her life on any terms, for the peace that has come for all of us. There are not enough words to express the gratitude I feel toward her adoptive parents for their acceptance and inclusiveness. I know that we are still in the early stages of reunion. I am prepared for the time that most certainly will come when she has a need to express "how could you give me up?". At present we are lost in the miracle that we have found one another and feel the connection that we feel.
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Hey Suzyloo! Thank you for your response! I used to routinely get on forums here a few years ago, longing for my daughter, and wondering with every posting if the person who was writing might be her, or might know her. I went for years gazing into faces again wondering if that might be her face. As things turned out we had crossed paths many times and know many of the same people. We look very much alike so we are both surprised that the moment of looking into one another's eyes didn't take place years on years ago. We are both grateful for what we have now. I welcome any and all responses to this thread. I see that there have been 48 eyes on it! I am hoping for many POSITIVE responses. We have been so blessed in our reunion that it has been so loving and accepting from all sides.
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Dear Murphymalone, Thank you for your supportive comment. This is a journey for everyone concerned. We are all in a peaceful place today. I have so many hopes for the healing and growth of our family. I wish that I knew how to be helpful and supportive of those still searching. My daughter will guide me. There is such a mountain of healing to be done.
Dear Leight, I see you are an adoptee reunited for 20 years? Hope to find you in these forums in the future. I want so much to do the right things to grow the relationship with my daughter where it can be grown. As an adoptee you have insight into the inevitable healing process. My daughter will guide me over time, too. I am hoping to gain a sense of direction through the forums here and to give hope to those still searching. This fine young woman who is a stranger to me but who feels like my next breath means so very much to me. I don't want to botch anything with her. She is incredibly patient and kind. I don't know how I am so blessed with her (she has very fine adoptive parents and I give them credit for the way in which she has grown up and been nurtured by them). Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your response.
Dear BabyRachelIVA, I plan to start visiting this thread routinely and partipating in the forums. I am hoping to gain insight from other adult adoptees in ways that I can support any needed healing and growth in the relationship with my daughter and her family. Still in that "pinch me" mode. I am grateful for any comments, criticisms, ideas you might wish to share in this direction. Will be looking for you on here and checking in periodically. THANK YOU for your caring, supportive comment!
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Wow, dpearls, that is wonderful news. I'm all teary-eyed!I hope your reunion continues to bring joy into ALL of your lives. And I hope for a fraction of that joy for myself when I reach out to my (deceased) birth mother's sister and attempt reunion with her in my birth mother's place...Best of luck to you!