Mother's day

Shasha, with no idea of the personalities involved, it's hard to answer your question.That said, I am generally a fan of honesty, so I think your husband is right. You can be gentle with your honesty - frame it in a way that will not unnecessarily hurt your adoptive mom. Explain that she'll be in town for a few days and while the timing means you'll be together on Mothers Day, you'd like to have an early/late Mothers Day with your adoptive mom the weekend before/after. If you live close enough to go back and forth in one day, perhaps you can have brunch with your adoptive mom on Mother's Day, then still see your birthmother later in the day? (Or in reverse?) Or see your adoptive mother Saturday while reserving Sunday for your birthmother? (Or, again, try that in reverse?)Whatever you choose to do next weekend, I hope your time spent with your birth mother is positive and joyful. And I hope your adoptive mother can accept that your love for her is not diminished by the time you spend with your birth mom...(Though I'd be careful with what you said at the end of your initial post - "I have an easier time being honest with my birth mom because I don't really have to worry about her feelings being hurt." - that sounds a bit harsh. I'm hoping you didn't quite mean it the way it sounded...)

I have kept my adoptive family completely away from my reunion with my bios. They have no idea that I am in contact with them. It's just much easier that way. I know exactly how my mother feels about the idea of reuniting with biological family, and I do not want to deal with her guilt trips. Mother's Day is a tough one. I don't know what to say. In my situation, I don't have to lie. I don't have to say anything. (However, my ongoing contact is not with my mother.) Like emerald stated, I don't know the personalities involved, so I can only tell you to go with your gut.