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Hi everyone. I attended a FAPA picnic over the weekend and I wondered if you all could weigh in on a comment a foster mom made to me (and others at the table seemed to agree with) regarding telling case workers that you'd be interested in adopting. They told me I should never actually say it to anyone, but didn't really explain why. I got the impression she was implying I'd be labeled as someone going against the whole foster care model of reunification. I completely understand that's the first goal and I also know our area has a real substance abuse problem that is making that goal unattainable for some families. So... what's wrong with making it known that I am open to adopting a little that comes through my door and ends up in that situation? In fact, if CWs had a feeling ahead of time it would be the end result for a particular child, wouldn't it be in their best interest to place the child just once? It left me unsure of what I should and shouldn't say going forward as we are restarting our MAPP classes next week. Have you guys had any experience with this? Thanks in advance for your input.
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In lots of places saying that you want to adopt too early in a placement can cause the CW to think that you don't support RU. yes, that is stupid, but none the less, it is a prevalent attitude within many CPS depts all over the country. In most cases, the state will know within 6 months if the case has a potential to go toward adoption and they will bring it u[p to you. I think the comment was meant to let you know that her experience is that it is best to keep any talk about adoption quiet until the subject is brought up by the CW or GAL/CASA.
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Agree 100% with Caddo on this. In many places it is severely frowned upon to mention that you would be interesting in adopting a specific child, to the point that the child is removed from your home to one that is more 'pro-RU'.
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ThreeNThree
In fact, if CWs had a feeling ahead of time it would be the end result for a particular child, wouldn't it be in their best interest to place the child just once?
As a GAL (and where I am in Florida), it's one of the first things we ask FPs with placements of littles. Why do we ask? Because the judge is going to ask us -- and the judges ask for exactly the reason you mention: they want to limit the number of placements.
As CaddoRose said, maybe the best way to handle it is to let the CW or GAL raise the issue. If they don't raise it, there's probably no need for you to raise it.
When I ask, it's usually way early in the case (first visit). I'm not looking for a "yes, we want adopt this child," but rather, "We're open to adoption" or "We're foster only." That's what the judge wants to know.
I can't say it's the same everywhere in the state (it's a big ol' state), but that's how it is where I am.
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Here we are all supposed to say we are for concurrent planning, supporting RU first but then if its not possible, being open to adoption. As soon as they saw that the parents weren't going to work their case plan, which was like within a month after I took her (she was in care 9 months before she came to me), the CW asked if I would be interested in adopting her if it came to that. They don't want you to go into it just to adopt, but they like to leave that option open if its needed.
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Interesting. I really want to help and be part of this program, but have 3 young kids already. We are not sure we are quite up for fostering just yet, but will probably do it once the youngest is in school full day (He is 3 now). I could however add a child permanently to my home that needs it... I wonder how this all fits in with what I should or shouldn't say???? Is there anything else I should know not to say or expectations I should avoid?
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MommyinFlorida
Interesting. I really want to help and be part of this program, but have 3 young kids already. We are not sure we are quite up for fostering just yet, but will probably do it once the youngest is in school full day (He is 3 now). I could however add a child permanently to my home that needs it... I wonder how this all fits in with what I should or shouldn't say???? Is there anything else I should know not to say or expectations I should avoid?
You will learn alot more about this when you start MAPP but like the PP said, in regards to any particular child that is placed with you, it is best to address the question of adoption when it is asked of you by the case worker. You can be completely honest at that time. They will explain "concurrent planning" in MAPP and you will understand it better.
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