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Our sons 4th birthday is approaching and I would like to send a thoughtful gift to his BM. We have a very open adoption and I try to acknowledge special days and events and I am running out of ideas. I have already given her way too many picture frames, I did a memory box with little things like baby socks and things like that. We got her a necklace with his foot print, a wall plaque I painted with his hand prints, I do a picture book every year, I sewed her a quilt... We have open adoptions for all 3 of our children and I would love gift ideas, especially with BM day also coming up. Thanks so much.
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Well I like anything that my kid made, it doesn't have to be much, just an art project is more than enough.
As far as birthmother day, I always suggest that adoptive parents be careful with that. If you are doing a commemoration of her loss type of gift, that is fine. If you want to do a celebration of motherhood type thing, if you aren't comfortable with sharing Mother's Day, then I wouldn't do anything. I've been asked to celebrate Birthmother's Day and it is offensive to me, not saying it is to everyone, but people obviously don't realize that it can be and a lot of times first mom's especially younger ones are afraid of voicing their feelings for fear the adoption will close. Again, something home made from your child that acknowledges that he loves her, but not something celebratory. No one wants to celebrate what could very well be the worst day of their life, becoming a birth/first mother.
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The first Mothers Day after our son was born my husband was out of town. We have a very open adoption so I invited my son's birth mom to come stay with me for mothers day. I gave her a silver charm bracelet. (pandora style) I purchased a charm with our son's initial. I told her that every year she will get a new charm. As our son gets older he will pick out the charm that she gets. She's really excited to see what charms he will pick out in the future. I like it because I don't have to stress about what to do, and she loves that it is something special from him.
I also wanted to share with you a great book. We gave this to my son's birthmother for Christmas so that she could read it to him when they are together. I plan on purchasing a recordable storybook so she can record herself reading it. I think it's a great story for a mother and child to share. It's called, "Wherever You Are: My Love Will Find You" by Nancy Tillman