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LAST year I posted about my husband not wanting to celebrate mothers day. You can read the entire post and how things went down. I went on strike and then finally spoke up and shared why and how I was feeling.
When I did finally talked to him about not celebrating mothers day, he said he thought it was just another one of those ridiculous holidays someone made up to commercialize and capitolize on. WHAT? Mothers day is very historical, goes back way before "Halmark" capitolized on it. Anyways, he thinks I am being silly and selfish and he doesn't want to have to do anything. If he did it wouldn't be real, it would just be out of obligation. He doesn't see where I am coming from and is insensitive to my feelings. So there, I finally spoke up and shared my feelings and a lot of good it did me. I should ask him why he calls HIS mother then. I should have asked him about valentines day. What about that holiday? Does he just participate to "get some". I should have protested about that holiday! So here we are again this year, still with a lot of resentment and not getting anywhere. I think I will leave the house for the day and go out, not even say why. Maybe I will ask my friends if they want to go out too and leave the kids at home with "Dad", if you will... :mad: My adopted "daughter" was supposed to participate in an essay contest for mothers day put on by our adoption agency, it's still sitting on the desk, untouched. The kids are supposed to write about their adopted mother. She said she wanted to do it when I told her about it, but I guess not, the deadline is up soon.
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I think it's hurtful for your dh to not honor your motherhood and I'd be upset too.
I'd be making some awesome plans for myself - a spa day or something else that you really enjoy. I'd make a point to try doing something too with your daughter - either the day before or that week.
Sometimes a 13 year old isn't a good age for appreciating their moms, and I bet there's still some attachment stuff going on between the two of you.
Personally I think the agency is nuts for having a contest and putting children of older child adoption in that position. If you and your daughter are still working on attachment, that might not be a good thing for her to do. It's a lot of pressure in addition to being a young teen in general. Maybe a small activity that doesn't focus on anything but something you both enjoy would better serve you both?
As for your dh...he deserves a slap upside the head but that would be the wrong thing to do too. So again...go celebrate yourself.
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My DH has been known to say -- but you're not MY Mother... I usually spend Mother's Day alone. (For years he's played a concert on Mother's Day, usually at a site 100+ miles away.) Sometimes (Actually, usually) my children call. Admittedly, it's not a great day for me. The last time I saw my Mom alive was on Mother's Day 1996 (coincidentally, it was May 12).This year, to top it off, I have a congregation council meeting at 6pm.
My 18 year FS asked me why I was doing Mothers Day. Taking my Mother out for lunch and asked boys if they wanted to come. I said I have u and your brother. He said that did not make me a mother. He said that would be like him adopting a turtle and saying he was a mother. I told him if he gets a turtle he can have Fathers Day. I kind of hope he doesnt remeber it is mothers day scard what he might text his Bio mother....