Advice needed

Sexualized behavior isn't necessarily RAD but it does require a very high level of supervision. Blaming things on other kids isn't necessarily RAD either. There isn't much anybody can do about kid on kid injuries unless they are severe. Kids hurt each other all the time and nothing happens. If she expands to start blaming you then things can potentially get pretty scary. That does introduce a lot of risk. I'm not saying she isn't RAD, just addressing what you've revealed.Nobody can answer that question but you. It depends on how much you want to help kids coming from hard backgrounds and what you are willing to give up to do that. Adopting from foster care isn't a good way to build an ideal family as we tend to think of it. On the other hand, if you are are looking to give up your time, energy, and passion to make a difference in someone's life and you won't shy away from a hard job and fall into self-pitty during the hard times then you might be the right person for the job. The hardest situations can be handled but sometimes it takes more energy and patience than you think you could ever muster. It can be a life changing experience. Our road has been hard and we aren't the same people we were when we went into it. Sometimes (often?) we long for the peace of a "normal" family, but at the same time we don't want to go back to being the weaker people we were before our trial by fire.

Thank you so much for your response. It is good to hear from someone that has more experience with this. We have a huge network of family and friends, but with the situations that are arising in our home they are a little too complicated for some of them to handle. We have 2 types of support it seems- those who are faith based that believe anything is possible and those who think we are crazy and should give up. I completely agree with the loss of the way things used to be. I also know that even if we gave up there would be a void, because even though it has been a short time-we are forever changed. My husband and I are finding that we need to start finding people who have experience in this so that we have encouragement to carry on. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement!

Yep. Been there, done that. We worked to educate people but it didn't help that much. Most of our support dissipated and many friends and acquaintances distanced themselves from us during the hard times. We actually ended up having to change churches because the leaders couldn't get that it wasn't okay for them to try to separate the kids from us so they could treat the kids like princes to make up for what they saw as us being way too restrictive.

How are you and the child doing? Update? A child with sexual behaviors is hard to deal with. We lost a lot of "friends" while fostering children with SA and RAD. I don't regret it. I eventually learned who my real friends/supporters were and have continued fostering.FYI some children can be extremely sneaky and manipulative. Do not turn your back for a minute. We were 'seasoned' foster parents and had fostered other SA children yet we still had one get to one of my DS. She did this while the social worker was in our home talking to me.

We are doing okay. We have set up some pretty strict rules in the home, as we realize the minute we let up is when things happen. I am also looking for an attachment therapist so that we can start working on some healing that is more specific for my foster daughter. My husband and I are also looking into finding support for us from people who have lived this. This information is too much for some people to handle, and I don't blame them. Thank you so much for your response as I am sure you know living through this experience can be very lonely sometimes.