28 weeks today&Freaking out.

You need to do what is best for you. You have to live in your body, with your choices. There are plenty of women who have aborted, or relinquished children because of what "others" wanted. Men leave, mothers and family members change their minds and hearts. But the pain of your choice will be with you forever. You are seeking a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Lots of parents (single also) have student loans, car payments, unwilling partners. Don't relinquish your child based on "outside" opinions. I personally wouldn't ever trust your BF again. IMHO he is looking out for himself, and the thoughts of child support in the future. He will leave you high and dry after that baby is placed. No BF, no baby, and family members that have moved forward, and you are left holding the emotional bag.I am NOT a birth mother, I am an adoptive mom. I have no skin in this. I just have read and felt in my heart the pain of these women that have placed their children because of the "outsiders", only to regret that permanent choice. It is possible to rearrange your life and keep your baby if that is what you want.

Since you are having doubts, I would say hold off on making an adoption plan. There's no rule that says you have to make the decision before the baby is born. Wait and see how you feel when you see him. Even if you take him home and realize after a few days/weeks/months that you just can't do it, you can still place him for adoption as long as the bio-dad agrees with it (and chances are he would, from what you've described). As far as the student loans go, look into income-based repayment (if you haven't already). They factor family size into the calculations, so your payment would go down if you have a kid.

I speak to you as someone who was recently reunited with my son after thirty years.You won't get over it. It will never be alright. Ever.Worse, you will have hurt your child in the profoundest way.Read blogs by adult adopted people. Not the slushy ones, the ones that talk about how it really feels, deep down. Many say they felt rejected by their mother. Read information about the unresolved grief that many mothers feel. It doesn't get better. How could it? We gave away our children, those little ones who were built to need us and be with us.You will hear an avalanche of stuff about how wonderful it all is. Beware of too much saccharine. Listen to those many who are on the other end of that decision, years down the line.A mother and baby are built to need each other. No amount of rationalisation will change that. I can't possibly describe the pain that awaits from waking up to the impact of the decision to have your child adopted. On yourself and, most importantly, on your child. Don't do it. Really, don't.(And if I feel like this, as someone who was very young and clearly coerced, you are going to feel tens times worse).

No first time mother knows how to be a mom. Everyone needs help to learn this. If your family won't help you, go to classes to help you. There may be plenty of women out there that are ready but can't have children, but you are your child's mother, no-one else. You are not helping your baby out through adoption. You are separating him or her from his/her natural mother. There is nothing more profound than that. Helping others out shouldn't even make the list of priorities. Show your family and friends that they are wrong. You will regret not keeping him, and you won't forgive yourself. Believe me. And in the long time before you understand this, you will be numb and profoundly disorientated. Have confidence in yourself. So many adoptions happen because the expectant mother has so little confidence in herself (often made worse by people with an investment in her parting from her child). You can build up your confidence. Tell your family and friends what you expect of them. Go to classes to build up your knowledge, and to learn what support is our there. And good luck.

Wishing you all the best. Saying a prayer for you or peace in your heart, strength and only the best future for you and the precious baby.

I agree with the poster who said don't make any firm decisions right now. Wait until you have your baby, your feelings will change and regardless of what you do, you will need to re-think everything once you meet your baby. If at all possible, take your baby home and spend time with him and see if you can manage OK. I had a friend who was pregnant around the same time I was, who was also going to relinquish her baby, but once she had him, she changed her mind. She took her baby home, and after a month or so, realized she couldn't handle it, but rather than her original plan of adopting the baby to strangers, the baby stayed in the family (her sister adopted the child). At least she gave it some time to see if she could handle it. She was quite young, at 18, and wasn't ready for the responsibility. I wish I would have had that opportunity, to see if I could have done it, because at least I would have had a true sense of what it entailed and felt I had given it my all. As it was, I was not allowed to even bring my baby home. And I felt inadequate with nobody telling me anything positive. My son will soon be 32, and we are reunited, but I can assure you, you will NOT relinquish a child without extreme grief and pain that will last a lifetime in some form or another. Even if you handle it well, as I believe I did, it is still there. And the thought of "I didn't have an abortion and I gave him life" does NOT soothe that pain. Whatever you do, please don't make this decision believing your BF will marry you. He has already proven himself to be untrustworthy, and he's manipulating you. He doesn't want to pay child support. With regard to your loans, the payments will be less if you have a dependent. Not saying you should keep your baby because of that, but you have to make the loan payments regardless, and they are less if you have a child/children. Best of luck to you. I know it's not an easy decision. I don't think anyone is ever 100% "ready" for a baby, even when the baby was very much wanted and planned. If you do decide on adoption, please consider the most open situation possible, but know that this cannot be legally enforced in most states and the adoptive parents can opt out at any time.

If your out of college and have a good job then your as good as us adoptive parents. You'll be amazed at how responsible you become the first time you look at that little face. If you want to parent, can parent, you should. Not only will you regret it the rest of your life if you truly want to parent but so will your child. Best of luck.