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We became relative placement for our great nieces in 2002. They were 2 and 4. The next year their bmom got pregnant with their little brother and he was placed with us when he was 3 months. We adopted the girls in 2005 and the little boy has been in and out of our home several times. Now 9 years later, we are finally adopting him.
This is the only sibling our daughters will have on their mother's side. However we have discovered that their bdad had three other children after them. The little boy was adopted years ago - so we have no connection with him. Now the two girls, ages 7 and 4 have come into care for what DFCS hopes is the last time. We have never mentioned these siblings to our girls. Our oldest daughters greatest fear was that her bdad would have other children and forget them - which he did. DFCS has asked if we would like the possibility of keeping an open agreement with the prospective adoptive parents of these young girls. Just wondering when, if at all, would you mention these siblings to my girls. One starts high school this year and there are a lot of issues that come with that and she has trouble making friends like it is - I don't want to put anything on her that will be stressful. Hubby says to wait until they are close to turning 18 - I just don't want them to be upset that we kept them apart - anyone lived through a similar situation? How did you feel? Just want them to be healthy and happy!
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I personally have not been in this situation, but have known others who have been. Once the open agreement is finalized and confirmed, you might consider telling the children about haivng other siblings. I would do this in a delicate manner not setting expectations too high, as you aren't sure how receptive the siblings will be. I hope this is somewhat helpful!
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