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Ihad a little girl 4 days shy of my 15th bday. My family thought adoption was the best choice, so I gave my little girl to a wonderful couple. We had agreed at the hospital that they would always stay in touch as this was not easy for me and I couldn't iagine living my life not knowing about her. 5 years later they moved and never checked in with the lawyer. I have searched and searched for her with very limited info as I didn't know their last name. Well her 15th bday is coming up and every year around this time I search like crazy. Well, tonight I found her! I am in shock! It has been 10 agonizing years since I seen a pic! I found her Adoptive parents on facebook and I sent the mother an email expressing how hurt I have been since all of this happened! I gave her my # and asked she please call me. Now I am freaking out tho! What do I do? What if she doesn't answer me back? What if Olivia wants nothing to do with me? I am a serious mess right now!
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I sincerely hope that you get a positive response and are able to reconnect with your daughter. I just wanted to let you know that Facebook likely sent the message to her "other" inbox, which most people don't know exists. I sent a Facebook message to several birth family members in February trying to connect and none of them have even seen it but I have no other option. If you go to the message, it'll say on the bottom "seen at" then the date and time if they have read it. I just wanted to let you know so that you don't think they are ignoring you if they just haven't received the message. I think there is an option of paying $1 to get it sent to the regular inbox if they live in the states (in our case, nobody lives in the states, so we didn't have that option). Good luck.
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I have already connected with the adoptive parents. They told me she knows she is adopted and she knows of her adoption story. I am conflicted though because I found a website where my daughter says she does not want to meet me because I did not want her. Her adoptive parents do not want me to contact her till she is 18, but I feel she should know that I do want her, and I love her very much and adoption was not an easy choice. Her adoptive parents are not telling her this and i dont know why..
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nikole1307
I feel she should know that I do want her, and I love her very much and adoption was not an easy choice. Her adoptive parents are not telling her this and i dont know why..
Just because she believes this does not necessarily mean that it is what her aparents are telling her. I have a relative who has always been told how much her bparents wanted her and wished to parent her, but could not; her perspective is still that anyone who places their child for adoption doesn't want them, and she is an adult. Teenagers have an even harder time seeing things from a different perspective, so they may likely believe that if someone doesn't parent it is because they don't want to, no matter what they are told to the contrary.
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Well, can anyone comment on this other website, or is it closed to comments?
If it's open to comments, you could ask her why she believes her mother did not want her. You might learn the answer that way. And, depending on her answer, you could always say, something like "As a b-mom, I have always wanted to know my child. I was too young to raise her on my own. I tried to maintain contact with her after she was born, but her a-parents moved and failed to leave any contact information." That's one way of letting her know that mothers do not always have choices, and in a very indirect way, it lets her know that she may have been wanted.
Did the a-parents state why the left without giving you contact information?
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