What Happens When Kids Never Attach?

They certainly struggle with relationships. Where they end up depends on the child's pathology and how well they understand the world. Some of functional and can earn a living but struggle keeping friends. Others sit in jail because they commit crimes. Some take what was taught to them, and as they mature, begin to understand it and do fine. Some suffer from substance abuse. I do have one unattached adult son that lives in a nursing home but he has other issues and despite trying numerous less restrictive settings with help, he does best there. (And he is happy there) But doubt you can find help for just failure to attach.

People at the hospital told my dd she is either going to wind up dead or in jail if she does not change her ways. Trouble is, I do not think she knows how to change her ways. RAD kids act on impulse and they do not have well developed consciences to regulate their behavior. Her behaviors are very risky and she does not seem to understand consequences. She will be 18 next spring. I am scared for her and for us, too, if she winds up with the wrong people. She is living in a residential center now, but will have to leave when she is 18. She needs supervision. I feel so like Adam Lanza's mom. Is there NO help??:grr: :grr: :grr:

A lot depends on what her therapeutic reports say. My son's psychiatrist, for instance, said he did NOT have a mental illness but a personality disorder and there for could not be held past 18. They suspected he'd commit crimes, but said they could do nothing until he did. My other son was on medications and had a low IQ but they refused to put his accurate diagnosis of Anti-social Personality Disorder and Schizophrenia on his paperwork until he turned 18. I did set him up with adult services but there was a 7 year waiting list and he left home before that. The homeless shelter found him the best options-things unavailable to me. You could attempt to have her placed under guardianship (by someone other then yourself) to attempt to get adult services for her. Try contacting NAMI (National alliance for the Mentally Ill). I found them very helpful.

I asked the same question of my adopted grandson's psychiatrist. What will happen to him when he becomes an adult? Because this particular kid's behaviors are so extremely antisocial and I asked the doctor not to mince words, he said "prison" as the best outcome - for both him and society at large. Unfortunately, some children are so damaged - either genetically or by experience - that they cannot live in civil society. Everybody they meet is a potential victim. Because they can't attach, they have never developed empathy for anyone else. The suffering of others is simply amusement for them.

I am a foster Mom of a two boys abandoned by their Mom who was raised in foster care who I am sure has RAD. She currently is an IV drug addict and living in a moter home with her boyfriend and his mother who all are IV drug users. She was a friend of My daughter who came to kind of rely on me. Mostly manipulate me. I have tried and tried again to get her help. I have tried and tried to give her unconditional love. It is a sad, sad thing to watch. I know that she has been tossed and tossed from place to place and no matter how much I try and do she does not have the ability to connect.