The match that almost wasn't

We made inquiries on perhaps a dozen kids. We got information back in response to maybe half of those inquiries. We submitted our home study for one. M. With whom we were matched two weeks ago and had our first visit this Tuesday. It was an immediate and strong YES for us when we saw her profile. We told our case worker we wanted to adopt her. Just like that. We would not consider any other profiles until we knew if we were selected as an adoptive family for herOur case worker submitted our home study. We called or emailed several times a week for updates. We finally heard we were in the running. But we were not the only family they were looking at for her. We would likely be called for an interview in three weeks. We heard from our case worker again later that week. No, she did not have news on M, but there was another girl, D, in agency who was coming up for TPR next month. Would we consider her? We were torn. We said we would not consider other profiles but there was no guarantee we would be selected for M. We had apparently already been vetted for D.We agreed to come in and learn more about her. We tried to keep an open mind. But after the meeting we told our worker we would be happy to do respite care for D but we would not consider adoption until we knew about M. Had she heard anything about interviews?We attended two training classes related to M's specific needs as indicated by her profile. We asked our worker to forward them to hers. And by the way, any news about interviews?After weeks of this, we received a curt reply from our worker indicating she could not keep calling to ask about next steps-she had left numerous voicemails already that had not been returned. When M's worker contacted her she would let us know. I insisted she call again and she told me she left a message.That was Monday.On Friday we got a call from M's recruiter. Was our worker on vacation? She had been trying to get in touch with her all week, had been leaving messages trying to set up our interview. Were we still interested in M? She needed to get us in next Tuesday! Were we still interested?! Our worker had left no messages for M's.Our worker had forwarded no correspondence indicating our continued interest or training.Our worker had never sent our life book.Our guess is that worker had no intention of letting us go to that interview. Our worker wanted us available for D. M was not our worker's priority. But that is purely speculation.We do know there was never any other families being considered for M. We have since transferred our license to M's agency and are enjoying open communication between her whole team and ours. My advice to ANYONE waiting for a match....BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE. Don't be afraid to be the squeaky wheel. You may be the only one who will...