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Hi
My AD has a full bio sister that is older then her and was with another county adopted or guardianship with another family. We know the sib's first name, of birth, and which county her case went through, her adoptive or guardianship mom's first name and phone number (it was listed on a family and medical history packet that the birth parents filled out) I would never call that number without permission though.
I don't think sib knows about my AD but I would like to maybe write a letter with contact info for us so if she does ever get info about her bio family from the county/state maybe have our letter included in that info. Is that possible to do this? The county my AD came from was not open to allowing us to leave a letter for her in our AD file nor willing to send link it to the other county.
Advice?
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Wouldn't you be allowed, the same as bio-relatives, to send a contact letter through the caseworker requesting some form of regular and continuous interaction between the siblings? Isn't that generally considered to be in the best interest of a child? I am "mammaw" to two foster / adopted children, and that is what I have recently done. The caseworker promised to forward it, or at least my contact information. I feel that neither they, nor I should be punished when we have a loving bond, and I was no part of any abuse or neglect, or drug abuse that resulted in state removal from the birth family. I pray the foster / adoptive parents will have a heart, as I have grieved their loss so deeply. There was nothing I was able to do, but that is not the same as not loving or wanting a child.
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Hmm. I would do two things reverse look up the phone number on the internet to see if you can find more leads about who her guardian/parent is and/or use spy dialer to get a name (online) and do some research.Full disclosure on me I am a bit of a amature PI. Two, contact a liason or supervisor for that county and ask if they can find (given the info you have) and send/forward a letter to the guardian/parent. If you do the later clearly state in the letter you are not asking for sibling contact (far less worrysome for many intially) just basic info for both of you to share and have for the future. Also ask for a copy of the letter to be added to sibs file. All of that may or may not work, especially a SWr following through . I had to sibs bio families be unresposive to my letter, I felt terrible for my kids. Bio Sibling connections tend to be pretty meaningful for adoptive kids. Totally off the cuff and I know you said you didn't want to, but I would just call the phone number and go from there.
I cant for the life of me understand why a family wouldn't want their adopted child to have contact with a sibling or why that would be threatening. Don't parents want what's in the best interest of their children and understand that contact with bio family is important to adopted/fostered kids.