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A little background. I am a birthmom. I gave birth to a little girl when I was 17. That little girl is now 15 and obviously is very curious about where she came from. I've been in contact with her a-parents for a few months and they have decided they want to meet me, and we have set a time to meet in a few weeks. They feel it's time for me to meet my daughter, but want to meet me first, I'm guessing to make sure I'm normal and to set some ground rules and such. I'm excited but beyond nervous... I am not sure what to expect. I always have dreamed of being reunited with my daughter, but I guess I wasn't expecting it to happen for a few more years. I'm thrilled that she wants me in her life, but I can sense the hesitance from her parents, which I can understand. Anyone else been through this and have any advice? I don't want to screw anything up, nor do I want to be a disruptive force in my daughter's life. I remember what it's like to be a 15 year old adoptee and think the grass is greener on the other side.
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Congrats!! I have never been in this situation as an amom...and I don't have a teen yet. But I would pretty much just say everything you have said here. I am sure you all will be nervous! Ask a lot of questions and be prepared for a lot too...i would stress that you plan to take it slowly especially bc you understand what it is like having been an adopted teen once yourself. I hope it goes very well. Best of luck!
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My son was in his 30s when we reunited, but I wanted his (a)parents to know that my purpose wasn't to take their place in his life, I was interested in having my own. I think as you talk with them, you can share your "grass is greener memories" and let them know that you want to be on the same page as them. (The daughter I raised hoped she was adopted when she was 15... she was out of luck there, LOL). Take some deep breathes and remember to listen to what they same before responding. (When we get nervous it can be hard to really hear the other person.) Above all, celebrate this opportunity!