My heart is breaking and trying not to give up

I'm so sorry for the all the unjust you have been served :( My husband and I tried for almost 10 yrs of fertility treatments and have 2 angel babies watching over us as a result. We turned to Foster to Adopt in hopes of completing our family and I pray that you will get yours completed as well! As for your signature, you have to submit so many posts before it unlocks to ability to create a signature. Good luck and PM me if you have any questions or just want to talk!

Pm me too! I totally understand how you are feeling. I have btdt im just a bit younger. I would love to talk to anyone who has been in this situation.

I thank you guys I keep reading all these forums and realize how awesome you guys are...Today I am struggling to keep my mouth shut from telling my coworker to stop talking about the parents she picked >.< Cruel I say cruelty, my Hubby says I am too nice and honestly I am a latina and Nice is not in our vocabulary. So I think I am trying too hard to be calm cool and collective and focused on what my best friend told me "It's because there is someone super special for you out there that needs you as much as you need them" :flower: And can someone link me the area where all the Initial explinations are I still yet to find them :hissy:

LOL - Your sense of humor is doing just fine ;) The catagory above this one "Foster Parent Support" - click on that and in the top section there is a link "Acronyms & Abbreviations" (second one down, I think) there is a list of some of the more common ones, not all, but enough to give you an idea of what some of them mean.

haha thanks wow if they would have been dogs I had been bitten already :thanks: And yes that I have sense of humor is all I got to keep some of my temper from telling this woman off. You know what just hit me she is doing it out of spite I swear...She even had the nerve to tell me to look up Foster care and I kept my mouth shut because she said it's loads cheaper (I feel like she slapped me by saying I was cheap) the nerve...But considering she was herself adopted as a 14 year old by her foster parents I don't know what to think of her honestly sometimes I feel bad and other times like today I feel like I want to be :evilgrin:

I understand how you feel although I have not spent has many years trying. My husband and I decided to have a family 6 years ago and after 2 years of treatment and finding out bio kids were just not in the cards for me I closed that door. Walking by couples with their kids doing day to day things nearly killed me somedays. And it sure did seem like every women I knew or saw was getting pregnant! Keep your head up and just try to find something else to focus on, and I know how hard that can be. Submerging myself into this process, and all the paperwork :), really helped me. Keep positive, the process is long but time will fly and it will all be worth it. These kids need people like us who know how to appreciate and love them. PM me if you ever want to talk and good luck! :laundry:

So sorry. We suffer from IF as well and I couldn't imagine if my co-worker continued to "rub it in my face" I would politely ask for her to keep "her good news to herself". If it continued, go to Mgmt because the subject matter has nothing to do w/ work. Some ppl just don't have any $%^* sense. I want to encourge you and your husband to continue. We currently have our first placement. Although we are still early in our case, we are kicking ourselves for not becoming licensed sooner. Although this is definitely an emotional rollercoaster, its worth it:)

Thank you and you have no idea how much you guys are keeping me focused too. Today I have ignored her completly. And we are hoping for us it goes fast it helps and DH said we can start buying the stuff for the room as soon as we start the classes :cheer:

Ok so here we go again, I guess my co worker is off to having the baby and even with me trying hard to ignore and get my home ready for up coming wonderful journey of Foster/adopt I have been bombarded by everyone at work today talking only about my co worker and her going into labor and asking questions about her adoption plans and the what not....:hissy: I feel as if I was gut punched today once more this is not cool. I am trying trying to stay positive that this was not meant to be and that God has a bigger purpose for me to start the process with DCS...but there is so much I can take :( Maybe I should have stayed home this week and and or plug my ears when I am here :hissy: Sorry needed to vent that out :eek:

Hello- first off hugs to you. It is so hard to see someone not embrace the miracle they have been given- and though I would never diminish what someone has to go through to decide not to raise their baby voluntarily- it sounds like at least on the surface- she is cold and calculating about her decision. Still- I am a huge PROLIFE advocate so I applaud her for choosing adoption. As for your situation. I have been where you are. My husband and I started trying to get pregnant almost 3 years ago and found out he has no viable sperm- and IVF with ICSI was both out of our price range and a slim chance for us to get pregnant. I spent so much time mourning the bio-child we would never have- and so much time being jealous or envious of all my friends having babies. I really had no idea that when push comes to shove it isn't about me at all. We decided to pursue foster/adoption-and were placed with a beautiful bi-racial newborn with drug exposure. We became first time parents overnight. It was an amazing (and hard!!!) three months but we loved it. Then we got the news that her grandparents had changed their minds and would take her after all. She moved four weeks later. Suddenly- my tears for infertility had a new focus- I had LOST my actual baby. There were a few stray tears for the idea that I had to follow this path and WHY GOD WHY can't I have my own baby. But He kept putting on my heart to "Be Still and Know I Am God.". And about six weeks later we were placed with Daisy- a 13 month old who needed us more. We love her more than life and hope and pray we will get to adopt her- but it is far from a done deal. (In my area- they do "concurrent planning" for newborns and infants and young kids who may need to be adopted- the goal is RU until it changes- but they try to put them in pre-adoptive homes so that they won't be bounced around if they can't RU). I just want to reach out to you and say- this is going to be bigger than you. Not to minimize your feelings- but if you stick this out- you are going to look back at these emotions and they will be nothing compared to the love you feel for the child placed with you. I will say it is a HARD road when you have no other kids. I am only hanging in there by the grace of God- and remembering that He is still writing my story. Prayers to you and your journey. Your story will be your story- don't worry about someone else's path. When you start on yours- that is all that will matter.

Thank you for the kind words honestly I needed someone to tell me those exact words to know I am not alone in this that someone else knows exactly how I am feeling when others don't....And yes I know is hard work but I am lookign forward to it I am very ready to be a mom and I pray to God that his will be done.....To me is sometimes I get discouraged and the what not because some times not everyone you know agrees with you on this. :eek:

My heart goes out to you. IF is brutal. I thought it would break me. Good luck with FC! We are about to get our second placement. It has been a blessing to us so far in the way of healing my heart. It may be a wild ride, but I know in the end it is worth it!

I rarely post on here but read the posts everyday. However, your story pulled at my heart strings and I had to reply! I am so sorry for your pain and loss! I too have had to deal with a failed adoption, and know the pain and hurt that can cause. Please feel free to private message me any time if you want to talk about that specifically. Sometimes life gives us hard pills to swollow. It sounds like you have been through a lot of hard times. That will make you so much more empathetic and compassionate to the little ones that come into your home. You understand loss and how cruel and unfair life can be. You can help these children. These children will need you! I don't know if you believe in God or not, but I believe that God uses our pain to help us help others. Hang in there!!!

I do believe in God and honestly I am happy to read your words, I have been coping with all of it and now moving forward feeling in my heart this is the best way to go, I want to help I want to be that parent the kids look up and say our mom made a difference in our lives. Both DH and Me are excitd about this and our families that are chirstians 3 of which are pastors are guiding us through this. My Aunt always has kind words, my uncle he prays and my brother well he makes me laugh I love the support we get from family and the fact we know we are not alone in this. Thank you So ready to be many childrens mom :laundry:

I know this thread is old - but I just saw it and wanted to comment :) I definitely understand where you're coming from with thinking that this may never happen and always the waiting and waiting with nothing ever working out. My wife and I are going through that at the moment. I've always wanted to do foster care and adopt, and my wife has too but she also wants a biological child. So for the past few years we have been pursuing both avenues - foster care and a biological child. (well, I should caveat that the child would be biologically hers, but since I don't have any sperm to use we are using a donor) And still, nothing has worked out and it just somedays (most days) seems like it never will. We are a little closer now - finally got our license back in September after a very very long process (including doing everything in two states since we moved a little over a year ago... yeesh). But still, no placements. I find the waiting game extremely hard, and also feel like our lives have revolved around this "trying to get some kids" thing for so long that we have wasted a year or two of our lives - and still have nothing to show for it. I know that's not true at all, but my irrational side still feels that way sometimes. Anyway, all that to say, I completely understand what you're saying - and it's so hard to see others seem to do it so easily. I hope you can stay strong and that things start to work out for you, and that everything will be, in the end, the way it is meant to be. It's so hard to believe, but I try to believe that for us too (but fail at that very often hahaha). Thanks for posting your story.