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My brother passed away 3 1/2 years ago and left behind a beautiful baby girl. Things with her mother aren't going too well and DCF removed my niece Aug. 2012. Nobody on my side of the family was notified and we didn't find out abt the removal until the next week. My niece was placed with a relative on her mothers side and I had a lot of interaction with her then. The relative lives an hour and a half from my nieces mother. My nieces mother has a friend that talked her into letting my niece live with her since they live in the same town and promised her that she could see her daughter whenever she wants etc. A lot of false promises. Come to find out, the "friend" can't have kids and is basically at this point trying to steal my niece. She cut all relatives out of the picture starting Feb 2013. DCF and the GAL stopped returning my phone calls and the GAL formed a friendship with the caregiver. The GAL desperately wants the caregiver to adopt my niece. They will only be traumatizing my niece by severing all ties between her mom, grandparents, me and my family etc. The reunification goal was changed July 30th this year to TPR on my nieces mother. That's when I stepped in and hired attorneys and an adoption agency and we were granted a motion to intervene. I wasn't supposed to have any home studies done because I am family but I've had 3 done. My niece has been with this caregiver for 10 months. The judge court ordered that I may now see my niece so I've been seeing her every Thursday. She loves me and my husband and our children. She remembered us even though it had been since Feb. since we've seen her. She is 4 years old and is all that is left of my brother. It would be an honor to raise my brothers daughter. The GAL who has never met me is fighting for the caregiver to keep her because we have 5 kids and it would be detrimental to remove her from a home where she is the only child to a home with 5 kids. These 5 kids are her blood cousins. I don't understand that if DCF is supposed to keep families together, why are they trying to keep her away? It makes no sense to me. It sounds like some promises were made to the caregiver that may not work out because I've stepped in and will be adopting. In my opinion, kids being around kids is a positive thing. My husbands daughter was severely abused and almost died due to child abuse by her mother and was hospitalized for weeks and is now brain damaged went from being an only child with her mom to joining our family with 4 kids and has thrived. She has done extremely well. We have done a great job with her and I believe her being around other children has helped with that. The GAL for my stepdaughter loves my family and my stepdaughters mental health therapist loves us too. The issue with my niece is they are saying she has too strong of a bond with her caregiver and removing her would be detrimental. To me, that means they never planned on moving her back to her mother had the case plan been followed and she would've been reunified....I'm sure they would've came up with something else to TPR her with. My niece talks about my brother all the time and says he is an angel in heaven and is a star in the sky. Why would they want to keep her from her family. How could it be detrimental to move her to a permanent home with her family. The caregiver has done a great job providing for my niece but we are now catching on that she is playing mind games with my niece and telling her she will never see her mom again soon and she doesn't have family...has anyone been through anything like this. In the state of Florida, a birth parent can exercise their last parental right before TPR which is to hire a private adoption agency and pick out their own family to adopt. We have done that and she chose me. Now it's up to the judge to decide between me and the caregiver but my nieces mother has already signed her consents and voluntarily surrendered her rights to the adoption agency. I've gone above an beyond requirements to prove my household is fit. Why would the judge not allow this? From my understanding, the consent to adopt is binding and irrevocable so the Judge has to grant the adoption because he has already granted our motion to intervene making us a party. I've had a total of 3 favorable home studies and my niece has a bond with me, my husband, my kids, her mother, my father, and her grandmother. Wouldn't it be way more detrimental to cut all of those ties than to just cut one tie which would be the tie to the caregiver
I'm also in Florida...not sure what county you are in but you can always PM me if you want my take on this. Our case was different as our niece was in Idaho and we are in Florida but I may be able to give you some type of advice.
The child has been in care for 3 1/2 yrs? That's along time to move the child. I may be misunderstanding though.
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What are they requiring you to do to get placement or is it completely off the table? We had to become licensed FP's here in Florida first (take Mapp classes, homestudy, background checks, etc...). And what does your attorney say about it all?
We weren't supposed to have a home study bc we are relatives but we did anyways bc it's become such a battle and we want to have allllll bases covered. The judge ordered that my husband and I go visit her last week with a licensed therapist present. We did....and we had my step daughters therapist supervise it. It went well. In the state of Florida there is a statute where a birth parent has a right before they are TPR'd to hire their own adoption entity and choose their own family. We got together and we chose one together and she chose me and my husband to be the adoptive parents. The caregiver said she will do anything in her power to make sure I don't get my niece. I've met this woman 1x. I think she sees me as a threat....I'm not sure but she isn't looking out for the best interest of my niece. She's looking out for herself because she can't have kids and her getting my niece would be basically a free adoption for her. It's not fair that there are people like that out there. You would think if she has family, has a bond with her family and the family is more than qualified than let her go.
Unfortunately it doesn't work as easy as we wish it would. We documented every visit, every phone call and who we spoke to and what we spoke about. We were involved 6 wks into our niece being placed with CPS and they still tried to keep her away from us. Best to get anyone involved you can...we had the Governor's office involved and our local state rep. It's not easy but all you can do is get anyone you can on your side.
BTW: We were required to become licensed here in Florida before anyone would even think of placement. I think this is because Idaho required that and we also had to have an ICPC completed and approved.
Good luck!
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mommy_x5
We have a lot on our side. I'm pretty confident she will be coming home. :)
Cool. Thought you were questioning what was going on. Just giving my insight
mommy_x5
I am just scared....at the same time as confident. LOL
Keep the positive vibes going. I can remember the SW on our daughters case asking us why we kept going because most relatives drop out once they realize what they need to do for placement. That just made us push harder! LOL
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Yayyy to getting unsupervised visits. We have court coming up very soon and will post another update after that.
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