Waiting has become hurtfull

:wings:Background:I was born in august of 1970 and adopted very shortly after by a wonderful couple who had they had it their way I would never have been told I was adopted. They did however explain over the years how special I was , on the same note my adoption was a very secretive outside of the family and not usually discussed. Years later i had my first child and she was born with a genetic issue with her kidney ...so after testing it was determined it was through my side and the search began.I registered in the province I was born and a few months later I received my non identifying information....Didnt help too much but it was interesting to see a little more detail about who I was and where I came from. I was saddened to learn that my birth father had no idea I existed or who he was. It did have some basic information of both my birthmom and BF ( number of siblings, heights weights , how long they knew each other etc... but that was it . The worker let me know that my birthmom was married and had never had any more children or told her husband about having a child when she was in her late teens and could not have contact at this time. I left it at that and filed it all away.The Last Year:I am a mom to two wonderful daughters now and last year one of them was asked to do a genealogy project. I really don't know how you all feel about this but as I helped trace back my adoptive family's history and helped my daughter do her project it made me think...really think ....Was this really an accurate history on my child's heritage? Why was this all feeling dishonest ?We moved across the country in the summer and when we moved my Adoptive mom handed me an envelope ... It was the legal documents from my adoption and included my birth name and my birthmom's maiden name.After settling back in I looked at the package again and then my search began. I found her maiden name ( with her hyphenated married name) in a high school registry - could it be this easy? Looked her up on facebook and found about 8 people with the same name and 5 of those were in the province I was born in.3 I ruled out right away - wrong ages etc.. all but one had open photo albums. That one had only a few photos available to the public....and one picture had me shaking...it was the spitting image of my youngest daughter ( who has my coloring but I could never quite figure out who she looked like) The next picture sealed the deal for me...It was a picture of a lady with her 5 brothers, she had also noted that four were older and one was younger just like the information I had on my non identifying paperwork. Then the fear of being rejecting kicked in again. I decided to look at her brothers' profiles. One was the closest in age to her and their banter on his page made me believe that they were close....I don't know what possessed me but I wrote him a private letter. My non identifying information as well as the letter from the Nun that handled my case all those years ago had noted that her brothers had been very supportive and had visited her while I was being carried.He wrote back, and continued to do so for the last 9 months. he has become a very close person to me. My first blood connection to this mysterious past. He calls me his niece ( not on his page of course) and I call him my Uncle. He and I decided together that I should write her a letter which I could email to her ( and send a copy privately to her FB) first explaining that I wasn't about to show up on her doorstep or disrupt her life but only to find out the details of mine, including if possible the details of my BF.That was August 29th ...no acknowledgment of the email, no message back...nothing.My Uncle ( bless him) is furious , and although I am hurt I am STILL feeling bad for her and trying to defend the possibilities as to why she hasn't to her own brother. He left a phone message today for her to call him so I guess in the next few days I may or may not hear some more of my story. In the meantime am feeling pretty stressed and sad .