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We are moving next weekend. I am going through all my Bio daughters out grown clothes. Once we move we will be open for a new placement, little girl 2-4 years old. Is it a good idea to save the best clothes in case the new little girl needs them, I know that she may have plenty of her own but what if she dose not. Is it frowned upon to put fosters in hand me downs? Is it worth it to save the clothes or am I just putting myself through grief. I have had the hardest time letting go of my daughters clothes for some reason, and I'm not a hoarder...now I'm ready to say goodbye but wondering what if...
Help me out seasoned Foster Parents.
Kat
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I am also all for hand me downs. :) When we had our foster kiddos I got so many great outfits (in great condition!) from Goodwill. Just remember to take off the tags. I had an instance where the biomom made a comment saying "Are things so bad that we have resorted to Goodwill?" It irritated me but I just shrugged it off. If I hadn't forgotten to cut the little tag off, they wouldn't have known. :)
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Providing the clothes you save to hand down to your foster placement(s) aren't covered in unremovable stains and has no major rips or tears, hand-me-downs are just fine! That's how we've prepared for our foster kid(s)! We got a few different things of each size of our age range (a couple pieces for newborns/0-9 months/1-2yrs and then of course something for each gender). Once we actually have a placement, I'm sure we'll buy some new things, but kids are messy little creatures and the more money you can save with hand-me-downs or thrift store deals, the better. Plus, like someone else said, you can find nice name brands at thrift stores. Or at least get extra use out of your daughter's clothes. :)
You guys are awesome! My gut feeling was that it would be OK. I only saved the best as that is what I would do for my daughter. No shoes though, for some reason I didn't feel good about used shoes, just me being weird. Honestly I spent so much time and money on my daughters wardrobe (first time mom and long anticipated little one) that I'd love the chance to use some of the clothes again. Of course I will take the little girl out to get new things when she comes. I will mark those items so they can go home with her. =) Kind of exciting.KatA swap is a great idea.
I love hand me downs, but I'd recommend placing them in large storage totes by size and only keeping 1 in each size otherwise you may find it's more of a hassle to store them then it's worth. One large tote should store close to a months worth of clothing. I'm currently looking at. 6 totes stacked in my living room because until we officially get to adoption there may be more.
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CRAZY_WOMAN
I see nothing wrong with saving hand me downs. A lot of kids bring nothing or very little.
I didn't know you were allowed to use the kids clothing allowance on thrift store items. Unless you use your own money or something like that. I thought buying used clothes wasn't allowed.
I would save and use them. My newborn fd is wearing a lot of my bd clothes right now. I only saved clothes that were in great condition, a lot even still had tags. Go for it!
A few other items to mention. OP was talking about littles. If you have older foster youth, I would not knowingly hand me down older bio sibling clothes to that youth, or at least not in an overt way. Imagine the stigma already associated with foster kids and add to that the feeling of not getting their own stuff. We all know we'd hand me down to our bios too, but the foster children may not understand that concept. I'd still get second hand, but let them buy it. Save the hand me downs so there are some years in between the wearers.And re shoes, unless they are rarely used, and only stored for emergency situations, do not hand them down. Children's feet are all different and the shoes get worn in accordingly so they may be uncomfortable for a new set of feet. You can find great barely worn or new girls shoes at resale, not so lucky on boys.ETA: my rule of thumb is to check the insoles and outer soles for wear. If there is any evidence of wear on the branding, they are discarded, or not purchased I mean, at resale shops.
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TemporaryMom
A few other items to mention. OP was talking about littles. If you have older foster youth, I would not knowingly hand me down older bio sibling clothes to that youth, or at least not in an overt way. Imagine the stigma already associated with foster kids and add to that the feeling of not getting their own stuff. We all know we'd hand me down to our bios too, but the foster children may not understand that concept. I'd still get second hand, but let them buy it. Save the hand me downs so there are some years in between the wearers.
Hand me downs are awesome! Don't bother saving the torn, worn or stained stuff, but if its still in good shape, why not?
I feel like having a stock of hand me down basics -jeans, t shirts, sweaters etc... frees up more of my budget to get the new kid a few choice clothing items that they really want.
We try to keep all the basics with 3-4 full outfits, shoes, and outterwear for each size in our range. That means we can go a couple days before russhing off to the store and we can try on multiple sizes at home, rather than at the store, but all that stuff can be stored in one large plastic box.
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Foster1Mom
I have always been super aware on how our kids dress. I never wanted anyone to look at them different. That said I still shop thrift stores because kids grow so fast! As long as the kids are clean, taken care of and happy!!
Hand me downs are okay in its place, like play clothes or if the kid is just hanging inside the house, but I used my child's foster care per diem funds to buy her clothes and other neccessities. I thought that was the point of the payment? To care for the kids and clothing should be included. If the clothes are all used, then where does the stipend go? It's just my personal opinion and I may be wrong, but its a bad enough stigma to be labeled the foster kid, and to have to live in someone else home AND wear someone else's old clothes. Maybe some new things will make them feel a bit more confident. I actually buy fewer clothes now that my child is adopted because my per diem I lost over $600/month with the adoption subsidy amount (which is extra crappy) so I dont have the extra money to shop for her like I use to.