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What should you do? That is a hard one to say. Not knowing you personally or the many details about your life and theirs I can't give you an answer. What I can do is tell you about how I would feel in the situation, how I feel looking backwards at about the age you will be when the 7 year old turns 18. I also had cousins come into care, though I was 19 at the time and they were 7,4,2,2,1, so a bit different in ages. I was never considered an option, though my parents were and they took them in. At the time I couldn't have raised them. At 22, probably. Well, except the one who really needed to be in a home my himself, but that is a different story. In the end they went back to live with their grandmother, my aunt, though their mom also moved in with them. Their lives have been anything but roses and I have many regrets. I regret not being involved in their lives more. I regret not being able to offer them a place to come live. I regret moving away so I couldn't do the two things above. I regret not being older at the time to be able to do something, as if I had any control over that one. I regret not fighting more to stay involved in their lives, to give up some of my time to make theirs better. I regret not even thinking about these things, feeling as if it were too late a year or two in and not looking at the larger picture. For the longest time, once they were out of FC, they would go to my parents on the weekends. It was almost a joint custody sort of situation. However, as they got older one by one they quit going. The oldest dropped out of school, hasn't held down a job, got in trouble with the law, recently had a baby and got married. She is still living with her grandmother. The second one probably will also when he is old enough, the 3rd and 4th are twins - one of which I see dropping out of school due to lack of support and delays not addressed - the other may graduate, and the last .... it remains to be seen. So, knowing all that, if I were in your shoes I would say "yes" to being able to adopt my cousins. Yes, it may limit what you can do, but I think it will be worth it. Keep working on the degree, all but the youngest should be in school, and even then the youngest can go to preschool. If you can do this without needing to work while going to school I would really suggest you work the hardest you can to finish it. Once that is done, why can't you move? People move with kids all the time. As for your boy friend...just because he doesn't think you should do it doesn't mean he won't keep loving you and staying with you if you do. Yes, he may not hang around but he might. Don't assume the worst about him, he may rise to the challenge. The next 10 years will fly by before you know it (long days, short months sort of thing). I've been reminiscing lately about the last 10 years, all my husband and I have done together, all the changes that have taken place and how I never thought then that I would be where I am today. Life presents choices along the way that you never thought you would have to make or that would be possible, changes come that you may have little or no control over, life is just plain not predictable. here are some questions I would ask myself if I were you: Are you handling things okay now? If so, what would change with a paper saying they would be staying longer? If you were to say "no" to adoption, then your boyfriend left, how would you feel? Are you willing to stay involved in the kids' lives if they were to live with another family? What things are you looking to happen in your life, and how could you make those things happen with kids? (If you are looking at medical school it would be different than if you wanted to become a teacher.) What is standing in your way? What supports do you have to help you make these things happen? Would having the one kid live with the aunt make this decision easier/different/harder? A friend of mine became the guardian of a boy when my friend was just a few years older than you. The boy was in middle school, he is now in college. During that time my friend started working at a good job, involved at church, dated, married, and basically lived life. He had a great support system in place - the boy's mom, his family, church family, etc. When the 'boy' became a teenager, the family of his good friend at church played a big role in his life. It wasn't all up to my friend. There may have been things in my friend's life that he wanted to do and couldn't, but I couldn't tell you what those things were. He had a great life and doesn't seem to be missing out on much. Granted, that is one kid verses several and the 'boy' wasn't from FC - he had no issues and a great relationship with his mom, talking with her and visiting with her; this situation was more along the lines of 'to give him a chance at a better life' sort of thing. Okay, after typing all this out, I feel as if I'm telling you to go for it. However, if you don't that is okay too. Seeing my parents, who never stepped up and said the kids could live with them after moved into a foster home (it was a major stresser as a kinship placement, oh the things my current self would love to go back and tell them), I realize how different their lives would be if they had raised the 5 kids. Things they wouldn't have been able to do over the years. It was a choice they made for reasons of their own - some I get, other I don't. But it wasn't my life to make the choice with. They seem okay with their decision and are very firm that this is not the time in life for them to be adding a few teens to their home. They understand their feelings and abilities and have made their choice. And that is okay. Talk with the aunt, she may feel differently. Please don't assume you know what other think and feel before asking. The vibes they give off may not be what they are thinking.

Hi! Thank you so much for responding to this. I appreciate all of your advice. Honestly, if it came to it I feel like I would definitely take the younger two. The only thing is that I feel bad for their older brother because he has gotten so used to playing "Dad" while their's was always gone. I'm not sure how it would effect him. But it really seems like I don't have to worry about it anymore. The "Step-mother's" rights are being terminated and she is not allowed to be around them or the father anymore. They are on track to go home with their father in June so hopefully the father keeps her out of their lives but something tells me he wont. I feel so annoyed because my boyfriend and I have put so much work into getting these kids on the right track and I can't stand the thought of them regressing. I won't lie, I am somewhat relieved that I don't have to worry about taking care of them but at the same time I have become attached. I guess all I can do now is just be there if they need me and keep a hawk eye out for any evil step-mothers.