Transition to Adoption

January 15, 2014

Does anyone know what (if anything) is done to prepare kids for adoption?

We have 2 boys whose bio mom's TPR is set for March and unless something drastically changes between now and then, we will be adopting our precious sons.

I'm not so worried about the youngest (a baby) but for our kindergartner, will anything be done to help him transition? Or will there just be a good bye visit and then that's that? I'm worried about him not understanding the difference between a goodbye visit and a regular weekly visit. I'm also concerned about a no show for the good bye visit. Bio M. didn't even show for the bonding evaluation and weekly visits had ceased for quite a while (they've never been consistent).

momraine

January 15, 2014

I would suggest asking your caseworker about getting some counseling for him. That would help him.

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vernellinnj

January 20, 2014

My fosterson was reunited with his biomom after being in my home for 4 years (he was 6 when reunited).He had counselling for about a month and transitioned over that same period. You should insist on counselling for your son to help with his understanding. Good luck!

thankfulone

February 19, 2014

New Jersey folks are really lucky in that we have access to FREE Pre-adoptive and post-adoptive counseling services. Different agencies provide these services in different counties. Where I am it's Children's AId & Family Services. THe clinician we have is really excellent. She's helped three of our kids prepare for adoption and will probably also be post-adoptive counselor for at least one. I recommend getting your kid on the waiting list ASAP, though, because you may have to wait a bit to get this counselor. They have specialized training in helping with lifebook development, talking to young kids about what adoption is, etc. They're great. You have to go through your CW for the referral.

austinangel90210

February 20, 2014

Thanks for the tip! I did talk to the CW yesterday because bio mom requested a visit yesterday and showed up drunk or high or something, just very "off". TPR is in 2 weeks so we really want him to get some kind of help and I didn't even think about the possibility of a waiting list! Definitely want to be on top of this. It's hard for me as an adult to wrap my brain around some of these situations, so I can only imagine how difficult this is for the kids!