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I had a daughter when I was 19. I briefly married her father, and we divorced two years later. I've been married to my husband for almost four years. I've had two miscarriages, one in '07 and one in '12. After the second miscarriage I began heavily researching adoption. We live in Illinois.
My questions/concerns:
1) My husband is afraid we haven't waited long enough for our own child and doesn't want to rush into adopting. What can I say to ease his concerns?
2) Would having an 8-year-old prevent us from adopting? Her bio father is active in her life.
3) Should we adopt from US foster care or overseas? We absolutely don't want a child older than 8.
I don't know what words would convince your husband that adoption is the right thing to do ---but as for your other questions there are lots of people who adopt and already have bio kids. That will not bar you from adopting. As for whether to adopt domestically or overseas-- it depends on what you are open to as to how long it will take and how much it will cost. If you go through a private agency and you want a Caucasian infant who has no health issues and has not been drug exposed, etc the wait and the expense will be considerable. If you are open to a child who is not a baby and has a history of placement in foster care for whatever reason then the cost will be much less expensive. International adoptions are never cheap so if you decide to go that route expect it to be quite costly. Different countries have different requirements so you will need to really do your homework as well to find the right country for you.
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For your Husbands fears. I would recommend going to Free Agency Orientations that would 'get both of your feet wet'!!
I would either research or consult other Health Care Providers whether you are able to carry a child with previous 2 miscarriages as High Risk, and if not and if the Advocacy wants a Biological Connection?
I would then consider Surrogacy?
I would also stay younger or possibly ' Virtual Twin' your Daughter with another 8 year old Girl in Foster Care??
International or Overseas Adoption is either Closed, 'Backlogged' or Brand New Adoption 'Pilot Programs!!'
Best Wishes to your Family!!